Belfast Telegraph

Should I own up about same-sex flings I’ve had?

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.

I’ve never really been sure about my sexuality and I am worried about what this might mean for a future long-term relationship.

I had both heterosexual and homosexual relationships in my teens but, as it seemed to be the done thing, I decided to get married.

The marriage didn’t last long because I admitted to my wife about having had gay relationships in the past and she couldn’t cope.

We divorced and then I had a lot of relationships with both men and women.

Now, though, I have met a lovely woman and I haven’t felt any attraction to anyone else — male or female.

But, with my past record, do you think I can risk promising never to stray again and should I tell her about my past? CB

FIONA SAYS: BE SURE YOU’RE READY TO COMMIT

Telling a new partner about past relationships is always a difficult matter.

A lot will depend on the woman you are thinking of marrying and your need, or not, to talk about past lovers.

You lost one wife by confessing too much and it may be that this woman could not cope either. On the other hand, she may be completely different.

You will need to assess this and I suggest you ask a few questions about her attitude before saying anything.

Before making any promises to her, be sure you are ready to commit.

Loyalty to one person isn't easy and needs to be worked at. If you can't live with that, don't pretend to her or to yourself.

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