My husband of more than 30 years has a bit of a fetish for stockings and high heels.
I’ve accepted this and I suppose I’ve indulged it a bit, too. Recently, though, I’ve discovered he’s been going to porn sites almost every day and he thinks he’s addicted.
He says he’ll seek help but he says he doesn’t think it will do any good.
I’m convinced he’s been chatting to women on these sites. While I’m unhappy about it, I don’t know whether I should put up with it or insist he gets help. FT
FIONA SAYS: SEEK MARITAL THERAPY
You’ve known about your husband’s fetish but recently he has been deceiving you — so why should you “put up with it”? When any form of sexual behaviour becomes obsessive, it can affect behaviour on all sorts of levels.
While you were once willing to play along with his behaviour, his expectations have now gone further than you feel comfortable with.
You shouldn’t feel pressured to go along with these changes.
Ask yourself, is this just a mismatch between his desires and yours, or is there is a fundamental problem with your marriage?
Either way, marital therapy of some kind could help, so contact Relate (relate.org.uk) as this is something the two of you need to work on together