Belfast Telegraph

Thursday 30 July 2015

Should I reveal my marital status?

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem

Published 24/01/2013 | 10:09

Three years ago I separated from the man I’d lived with for 20 years. We never married, but everyone always assumed we had, as I took his surname.

My children don’t even know that I wasn’t married to their father and they may be shocked to find out.

I’ve met someone else who wants to marry me, but he doesn’t know the truth either.

I don’t want to lose this new man in my life but I’m worried he’ll be upset if he discovers my true marital status. JC


You will have to legally declare your previous marital status when getting married, so the chances are slim that your new partner won't find out. Perhaps now is the time to consider just letting it go.

I think you're worrying too much about other people's responses; most people wouldn't care less.

You may even find your new boyfriend is pleased to think you've not got to go through a divorce before the two of you can be married.

I agree it may be a shock for your children, though, so perhaps, if your relationship with their father is still good enough, it may be an idea to tell them together.

Your children are old enough to know that it's what is in the heart that counts, not what's written on a piece of paper.

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