Belfast Telegraph

Should I tell boyfriend about sexual past?

My boyfriend is nine years older than me and when we first met we slept together on the second date.

Later on, when he asked me about my past, I told him he was the only man I had ever slept with — because I wanted him to think he was special.

This wasn’t true and I think he knew it even then. I am scared to tell my boyfriend the truth because I think he will leave me.

He says he wants me to marry him and that he doesn’t care if he was first or not but just hates to think I have been lying to him.

In fact I had slept with three men before him, but now I am scared to tell the truth and scared not to, in case it comes out later. What should I do? KM

FIONA SAYS: BE HONEST

What happened in your past really shouldn't matter, but the fact that you are lying about it means that you're making it a part of the present.

If you love him then I think you should start by being honest.

Admit that he wasn't the first person you'd slept with and explain you thought you were saying what he wanted to hear.

Tell him that, after the first lie, you were too embarrassed to tell the truth but now you love him so much that you want there to be no further deception.

If he loves you, he should understand and forgive you. If he doesn't, is he really worth marrying anyway?

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