As more of us admit we're happier at home than in the workplace, is the myth of 'supermum' over?

‘I was fulfilled looking after my family’

Mum-of-one Sharon Owens, from Belfast, is an author and Belfast Telegraph columnist. She says:

Feminists everywhere will be rolling their eyes in horror when I say this, but if I didn't have to earn a crust I probably wouldn't bother with work. Before I began my career as a novelist, and indeed columnist for this very prestigious publication, I was a stay-at-home wife. And you know what? It wasn't a bad life at all.

I had time to blow-dry my hair in the mornings. I had time to iron something smart to wear, hang out the washing and chat to my retired neighbours over the garden fence. I had time to bake pies and cakes, and time to shop for fresh fruit and vegetables. I always remembered to send birthday cards to my friends and family and I had all my Christmas shopping done before December.

School holidays were a breeze: I'd no worries about childcare. Similarly, if my young daughter wasn't feeling well or had a half-day at school, I'd only to walk across the road to fetch her home. It was an idyllic life in many ways. Yes, there were some rainy afternoons when I imagined all the other women my age were having a cosy lunch together in a wine bar somewhere. And yes, there were days when I didn't do much except dust the furniture and hang scented sachets off the wardrobe doors. But I never resented my role as a happy housewife. I always felt appreciated by my husband and we spent every evening and weekend together as a family. So it wasn't really a lonely life at all; I was only on my own during the school day.

A lot of things have had to be sacrificed now that I work full-time, however: home-cooked meals for one. I haven't time to iron the pillowcases any more and I haven't sent out regular birthday cards for years. In fact, I usually forget my own wedding anniversary these days! Now, like most working women, I have to get the chores done in an hour or two each evening, when I used to have all day to tidy up and buy fresh flowers for the sitting room.

I don't have time to walk anymore either: a quick dash to the post-box is all I can manage. I don't have time to potter in the garden so I pay someone else to tidy it up twice a year. I don't have time to make scented sachets these days, and it's too time-consuming filing those receipts and checking my emails. And chatting to journalists and DJs over the phone, which is how I prefer to conduct any interviews I am asked for!

I've no idea how women with children at different schools cope with the school run, or how they find the time to pluck their eyebrows or floss their teeth in the mornings. But of course, somehow they do fit it all in because women are amazing, aren't they? Along with the 9-5 and the traffic jams, they have to look after their children, the house, and probably their parents as well. It's not easy being a woman in the 21st century. I wouldn't mind going back to my old life some day.

I mean, I absolutely love my writing career but I was also very happy and fulfilled simply looking after my family. In my opinion, working women and stay-at-home women are of equal value to society. And neither should be castigated for the role they have chosen. Or rather, the role they have had chosen for them by the current economic climate.”

‘Mums work for so many reasons’

Mum-of-four Jane Bell, who lives in Donaghadee, says:

"That old chestnut again: the debate on whether a woman's place is in the home or in the workplace. Just to keep things interesting, let's try looking at the subject from the other end of the telescope.

Round about now thousands of girls all across Northern Ireland have just received their hard-won A-level results. For many it will be a passport to university and the first step towards a worthwhile career in, say, medicine, the law, teaching, engineering or business.

Should we stop these young women in their tracks with dire warnings that they risk damaging their own and their future family's well-being by going out into the world to make the most of their abilities and talents? Of course not. We wouldn't want to say it and they wouldn't want to listen.

Intelligent and able girls today aren't going to fight shy of the top jobs. The genie is well and truly out of that particular bottle.

But the harsh facts of working life will have to be faced sometime. Let's be honest here. We're not talking about women in the workplace, but specifically mothers in the workplace. Almost always, motherhood carries a career penalty, no matter what the legislators would have us believe. And what's scary is that nowadays, all too often, the most high-achieving working women are riskily delaying motherhood or opting out of it altogether.

Many other women, who want to make room for family life, settle for a ‘job' rather than a career, either deliberately avoiding, or regretfully bypassing, the promotion they would be well able for.

Working mums work for all sorts of reasons: in order to meet the mortgage and the bills; to ‘get out of the house'; for the company, or to avoid being driven quietly mad by Postman Pat on a continuous loop. Variety — and a modicum of financial independence — is the spice of life which is why part-time work is the preferred option of so many working mothers.

Mums aren't workshy. Nearly eight out of 10 women with children aged six-13 work outside the home and it's calculated that by 2010 80% of new entrants into the workplace will be women.

As a mum of four — and a working mum for the past 23 years — there came a time when ‘the workplace' didn't suit me.

Since all I need to work is a phone, a laptop and five minutes peace, I relocated my workplace to my home.

That arrangement has suited me and my family just fine for the past decade, but I appreciate it's rather different if your job is to operate on a heart patient, build a flyover or operate a supermarket check-out — you can't do any of those at the kitchen table.

Happily, things have changed for women since I stopped being an employee, with far better maternity leave provision and at least the possibility of flexible or shared working patterns — thanks to some hefty Euro-law arm-twisting and a slow dawning on the more savvy employers that it makes bad economic sense to lose skilled and expensively-trained staff by trying to shoehorn women into workplaces made by men for men.

But legislation alone can't deliver. Nearly 40 years after Equal Pay laws were first passed, women's earning power still lags behind, with factors such as child care responsibilities and part-time working patterns putting on the brakes.

And of over 3,000 recent discrimination cases, one-third centred on gender issues — more than 30 years after the Sex Discrimination Act.

As well as employment law, attitudes need to change, with an end to the long hours culture and the adoption of truly flexible working, for a start.

It's tough out there. Working mums survive by compromise.

I'd hate any bright and ambitious young woman, tearing open those A-level results, to eventually be browbeaten into an all-or-nothing attitude to a career. Life has more to offer. We can't ‘have it all'. Any fool knows that. But, with careful management, we can have most of it, much of the time.

It stands to reason that it's easier to give your all to your job if the biggest responsibility you have at home is a cat. But, remember, when retirement comes around, all you're left with then is a gold watch and a dead cat!”

‘Working from home is a huge juggling act‘

Mum-of-one Rachel Morgan, a public relations consultant, says:

Work-life balance has always been extremely important to me and even more so since the birth of our daughter, Ezara, eight months ago. I had spent the previous five years working with an award-winning Belfast PR agency and it was always my intention to return to full-time work.

However, when Ezara was born, I was faced with the dilemma of leaving her into a nursery five days a week and returning to work full-time or working from home. I soon realised that I wanted to enjoy as much time as possible with Ezara in the early days. Combined with the spiralling costs of childcare, which is approximately £800 per month, my decision to become my own boss and work from home was a relatively easy one in the end.

I'm now in a very fortunate position that I can combine being a mum with pursuing my career by working from home.

As a PR consultant, the majority of my work can be done in my home office. Whether it's developing strategic PR campaigns, writing press material or setting up press photocalls, each of these undertakings can be accomplished with a computer, mobile phone and wireless broadband.

With my blackberry I'm always contactable so even when not at home clients can get in touch with me.

For those occasions when I have client meetings, events to manage or press launches to attend, I've a fantastic mum who takes care of Ezara for me.

One of the biggest advantages about working from home is that I'm not under pressure in the mornings to get out of the house, leave Ezara to a nursery and beat rush hour traffic to get to the office for 8.30am!

My day still starts relatively early though; I'm up at 6.30am as I like to have breakfast with my husband before he heads off to work. I then read the morning papers, catch the breakfast news on TV or radio and check my emails.

Working from home is a huge juggling act, but with an abundance of self-discipline, motivation, good forward planning and organisational skills it's certainly achievable for mums who want to continue working.

What's also attractive about working from home is that I am in control of how and when I work.

I can choose the clients that I want to work with and only undertake projects that I know I can deliver excellent results for.

To keep work and family life separate I've converted a room upstairs into my office.

But like everything in life, it's not always as straightforward!

There are numerous occasions when I'm not in my office but need to take calls, make calls or respond to emails on my blackberry.

The nature of PR means that quite often ad hoc opportunities arise and I need to take advantage of them there and then.

So I allow myself that flexibility and as long as I manage it effectively, I'm confident that Rachel Morgan PR will flourish from the comfort of my home office."

... and here’s what some of our best-known women have to say

UTV presenter Alison Fleming has two young |children, Annie (4) and Finn (3). She says:

I try to have one full day with the kids every week. We’ll go out and do fun things that they like doing. I want to make their time with mummy as special as possible.

To work and be a mother is the norm to me. My mother did it and I don’t remember in my childhood needing her and her not being there.

There are some times when my kids are being lovely and I think I would love to spend all my time with them, but it just not feasible.

My work have been very helpful as well, by giving me the flexibility to be with the little ones. I will be taking a month’s parental leave when they start school and pre-school. So I can pick them up while after school activities aren’t running.”

SDLP MLA Carmel Hanna has four grown-up children, Siobhan, Deirdra, Claire, and Michael. She says:

I would agree that women who work are missing out on spending time at home. I see it happening with my daughters. It is difficult when you have a career and want a home life.

I was a nurse before I went into politics and it was hard to look after the children and work shifts. They were GCSE age when I went into politics and after that I always seemed to be standing for election at exam time, but they were very supportive.

It is hard because if women take time off for their children they are often not taken as seriously as men.

My two daughters with babies are torn between getting on in their work and raising a family.

I think they have choices but I think they are economic choices. The cost of living is so high it is hard for them to decide not to work.”

Alliance MLA Anna Lo has two sons, Connell Hon (26) and Owen (23). She says:

I think the idea that a woman has to work or be a mother is very old-fashioned. Obviously a career woman with children has to be better organised, she needs to prioritise, but it’s not an either or situation. A woman with a satisfying job makes a happy wife and mother.

A woman who stays at home can be unhappy if it is not her choice and she can blame the children. A working mother can see the time with her children as quality time and use it in a focused way which is much more beneficial than a woman spending all day with her children and talking over their heads.

I remember when I was working part-time and had gone back to school. I was studying English literature A-Level and would recite lines of Hamlet when I was bathing my youngest son. I did this so much he would recite them, too.”

BBC Northern Ireland presenter Sarah Travers has two children, Jack (11) and Evie (5), and commutes from Portstewart to work in Belfast. She says:

I do not feel I am a superwoman in any way. I am never really giving my all to everything. It is a little bit here and a bit there and it gets on top of you quite often. I would love to spend more time with my children, but I have to work.

I know I couldn’t do any of it without my family and partner. Plus, we have a wonderful childminder. Working in news you can get called in at any moment and I know I can pick up the phone and someone will be there to look after the kids.

I think a modern woman needs a modern man and I really fell on my feet. My partner is wonderful in that respect. He always has my dinner on the table when I come home.

Guilt was a big issue for me but now the kids are older that is not such a problem because they can understand why I may not be there.

My children are very adventurous but maybe they have had to be to find their way in life. I don’t think I was that self-assured when I was 11.”

Interviews: Simon Creer