Belfast Telegraph

Thursday 28 August 2014

Vintage vicar advice: Thrash drunks

Researchers discovered advice for newly-weds from vicars, including a tip to grooms not to be critical of their wife's baking skills

A catalogue of bizarre, novel and sometimes downright offensive tips from vicars for achieving a better life has been uncovered by the British Newspaper Archive.

The catalogue of quirky tips includes advice to "thrash drunks" - be they man, woman or child - and to lie about your new wife's cooking skills.

Keeping your mother's "ripping tarts" a secret and "don't be a mug", are more of the gems of wisdom offered by Britain's original agony uncles.

Researchers at the British Newspaper Archive discovered the tips and hints once given by the nation's vicars.

According to the Rev AJ Waldorn of Brixton, the key to marital bliss in 1913 was pastry-based diplomacy.

In the Western Gazette he advised: "Whatever you do, don't spoil your wedding day by telling your wife what ripping tarts your mother makes".

If a bride's puddings are not up to scratch, he says, simply "swallow the bride's pie, and tell her it's a dream of delight, and then take a pill on the sly".

The Rev WG Roberts, of Horsley St Clements, was another advocate of diplomacy for maintaining domestic harmony.

His advice from 1939 was to "never tell your wife you are going to be the 'boss'", as he points out that "it is a tactless remark, and is fundamentally untrue".

He adds that "a woman who tells her husband she is going to be 'boss' is sillier still, as it brings the whole thing to a level of brute force".

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