Belfast Telegraph

Saturday 20 December 2014

Wife of murdered Northern Ireland policeman: The night Kate's world fell apart

Kate Carroll: Widow of murdered Constable
Kate Carroll: Widow of murdered Constable
A Police Service of Northern Ireland officer salutes the coffin of Stephen Paul Carroll as his remains arrive back at his home in Banbridge, Northern Ireland, Wednesday, March, 11, 2009. The PSNI officer was gunned down late Monday by Irish Republican terrorists. Several thousand Catholics and Protestants united in a silent protest Wednesday against the Irish Republican Army dissidents who have put Northern Ireland on edge _ and its peace in doubt _ with deadly attacks that have left three dead since the weekend. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
Kate Carroll, the widow of Constable Stephen Paul Carroll, reacts as his coffin arrives at their home Banbridge, Northern Ireland, Wednesday, March, 11, 2009. The Police Service of Northern Ireland officer was gunned down late Monday by Irish Republican terrorists.(AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
A Police Service of Northern Ireland officer salutes the coffin of Constable Stephen Paul Carroll, as it arrives at his home in Banbridge, Northern Ireland, Wednesday, March, 11, 2009. Carroll was gunned down late Monday by Irish Republican terrorists.(AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
Kate Carroll The widow of Stephen Paul Carroll reacts as the remains of Stephen arrive back to his home in Banbridge, Northern Ireland, Wednesday, March, 11, 2009. The Police Service Northern Ireland (PSNI) officer was gunned down late Monday by the Continuity IRA as he sat in a patrol car. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
Kate Carroll, the widow of Constable Stephen Paul Carroll, reacts as his coffin arrives at their home Banbridge, Northern Ireland, Wednesday, March, 11, 2009. The PSNI officer was gunned down late Monday by Irish Republican terrorists. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
Loyalist Frankie Gallagher at rally in Belfast
Sinn Fein's Paul Maskey at Belfast rally
16-week-old Finn Johnston outside Belfast's City Hall
Thousands attend peace rally at Belfast City Hall
Thousands gather at Belfast City Hall
The scene at Derry's Guildhall Square during the vigil for peace
Guildhall Square during the vigil for peace
Mayor of Derry is the first to sign the Peace Book in the city's Guildhall, followed by longtime civil rights campaigner Ivan Cooper. The book was opened to the public following the vigil that was held in Guildhall Square
Murdered PSNI officer Stephen Carroll
Police Service of Northern Ireland officers take up position near Lismore Manor, Craigavon, Northern Ireland, Tuesday, March 10, 2009. A large security presence has begun after a Police Service of Northern Ireland officer was shot dead by suspected Irish Republican terrorists. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
Police Service of Northern Ireland officers take up position near Lismore Manor, Craigavon, Northern Ireland, Tuesday, March 10, 2009. A large security presence has begun after a Police Service of Northern Ireland officer was shot dead by suspected Irish Republican terrorists. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
Police Service of Northern Ireland officers take up position near Lismore Manor, Craigavon, Northern Ireland, Tuesday, March 10, 2009. A large security presence has begun after a Police Service of Northern Ireland officer was shot dead by suspected Irish Republican terrorists. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
Police forensic officers examine the spot were gunmen fired from, with marked bullet casings on the ground, near Lismore Manor, Craigavon, Northern Ireland, Tuesday, March 10, 2009. Irish Republican Army dissidents fatally shot a policeman in the head as he responded to an emergency call, just 48 hours after the killing of two soldiers, Northern Ireland's police commander said Tuesday. (AP Photo / Peter Morrison)
Police forensic officers arrive at the scene of a shooting near Lismore Manor, Craigavon, Northern Ireland, Tuesday, March 10, 2009. Irish Republican Army dissidents fatally shot a policeman in the head as he responded to an emergency call, just 48 hours after the killing of two soldiers, Northern Ireland's police commander said Tuesday. (AP Photo / Peter Morrison)
Police forensic officers attend the shooting scene near Lismore Manor, Craigavon, Northern Ireland, Tuesday, March 10, 2009. Irish Republican Army dissidents fatally shot a policeman in the head as he responded to an emergency call, just 48 hours after the killing of two soldiers, Northern Ireland's police commander said Tuesday. (AP Photo / Peter Morrison)
Police forensic officers examine the Police Service of Northern Ireland car at the scene of the shooting at Lismore Manor, Craigavon, Northern Ireland, Tuesday, March, 10, 2009. Irish Republican Army dissidents fatally shot a policeman in the head as he responded to an emergency call, just 48 hours after the killing of two soldiers, Northern Ireland's police commander said Tuesday. (AP Photo / Peter Morrison)
Police Service of Northern Ireland officers take up position near Lismore Manor, Craigavon, Northern Ireland, Tuesday, March, 10, 2009. A large security presence has begun after a Police Service of Northern Ireland officer was shot dead by suspected Irish Republican terrorists. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
A police Service of Northern Ireland officer at Lismore Manor, Craigavon, Northern Ireland, Tuesday, March, 10, 2009. Irish Republican Army dissidents fatally shot a policeman in the head as he responded to an emergency call, just 48 hours after the killing of two soldiers, Northern Ireland's police commander said Tuesday. (AP Photo / Peter Morrison)
Chief Constable Sir Hugh Orde shows his emotions at a press conference after the murder of Stephen Carroll
The shooting is understood to have happened near Lismore High School in Craigavon
Police officers cordon off the area near Lismore Manor, Craigavon, Northern Ireland, Tuesday, March 10, 2009. A large security presence has begun after a Police Service of Northern Ireland officer was shot dead by suspected Irish Republican terrorists. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
A police Service of Northern Ireland officer aims his rifle as he takes up position near Lismore Manor, Craigavon, Northern Ireland, Tuesday, March, 10,2009. A large security presence has begun after a Police Service of Northern Ireland officer was shot dead by suspected Irish Republican terrorists. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
A Police Service of Northern Ireland officer aims his rifle as he takes up position near Lismore Manor, Craigavon, Northern Ireland, Tuesday, March 10, 2009. A large security presence has begun after a Police Service of Northern Ireland officer was shot dead by suspected Irish Republican terrorists. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
A Police Service of Northern Ireland officer aims his rifle as he takes up position near Lismore Manor, Craigavon, Northern Ireland, Tuesday, March 10, 2009. A large security presence has begun after a Police Service of Northern Ireland officer was shot dead by suspected Irish Republican terrorists. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
A Police Service of Northern Ireland officer aims his rifle as he takes up position near Lismore Manor, Craigavon, Northern Ireland, Tuesday,March, 10, 2009. A large security presence has begun after a Police Service of Northern Ireland officer was shot dead by suspected Irish Republican terrorists. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
A Police Service of Northern Ireland officer takes up position near Lismore Manor, Craigavon, Northern Ireland, Tuesday, March 10, 2009. A large security presence has begun after a Police Service of Northern Ireland officer was shot dead by suspected Irish Republican terrorists. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
A Police Service of Northern Ireland officer aims his rifle as he takes up position near Lismore Manor, Craigavon, Northern Ireland, Tuesday, March 10, 2009. A large security presence has begun after a Police Service of Northern Ireland officer was shot dead by suspected Irish Republican terrorists. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
Flowers at the scene of the fatal shootings outside Massereene army base
Flowers left at the entrance to Massereene Army Base
Flowers are left at the entrance to Massereene Army Base
A field dresing lies in the bloodsoaked road at the entrance to Massereene Army Base
Graffiti daubed on walls in West Belfast by CIRA supporters showed that all is not well in the republican camp and that dissident republicans are not supportive of latest Sinn Fein and IRA moves. This message on the Falls Road in West Belfast was painted over shortly after the picture was taken...
A woman holds back tears during a prayer service for the soldiers killed at Massereene British Army Barracks in Antrim, Northern Ireland, Sunday, March 8, 2009. Two British soldiers were shot dead late Saturday and four injured by dissident Irish Republican terrorists, the first killing of British troops in Northern Ireland since 1997. Its callousness, in targeting soldiers and civilians alike, appeared calculated to inflame community tensions and undermine Northern Ireland's Catholic-Protestant administration. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
The front entrance to the Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast, Northern Ireland, is seen Sunday, March, 8, 2009 after two British soldiers were shot to death and four other people wounded in a drive-by ambush that politicians blamed on IRA dissidents. Suspected IRA dissidents who opened fire on British soldiers and pizza delivery men outside an army base shot their victims again as they lay wounded on the ground, police said Sunday. Two soldiers died and four other people, including two men delivering pizzas, remained hospitalized with serious wounds following Saturday night's attack at the entrance to Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
A police officer patrols outside the Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast, Northern Ireland, Sunday, March, 8, 2009 after two British soldiers were shot to death and four other people wounded in a drive-by ambush Saturday that politicians blamed on IRA dissidents. Suspected IRA dissidents who opened fire on British soldiers and pizza delivery men outside an army base shot their victims again as they lay wounded on the ground, police said Sunday. Two soldiers died and four other people, including two men delivering pizzas, remained hospitalized with serious wounds following Saturday night's attack at the entrance to Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
Police forensic officers examine the scene at the Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast, Northern Ireland, Sunday, March, 8, 2009 after two British soldiers were shot to death and four other people wounded in a drive-by ambush that politicians blamed on IRA dissidents. Suspected IRA dissidents who opened fire on British soldiers and pizza delivery men outside an army base shot their victims again as they lay wounded on the ground, police said Sunday. Two soldiers died and four other people, including two men delivering pizzas, remained hospitalized with serious wounds following Saturday night's attack at the entrance to Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
Aerial showing Masserene army base and it's front entrance
Police forensic officers examine the scene at the Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast, Northern Ireland, Sunday, March, 8, 2009 after two British soldiers were shot to death and four other people wounded in a drive-by ambush that politicians blamed on IRA dissidents. Suspected IRA dissidents who opened fire on British soldiers and pizza delivery men outside an army base shot their victims again as they lay wounded on the ground, police said Sunday. Two soldiers died and four other people, including two men delivering pizzas, remained hospitalized with serious wounds following Saturday night's attack at the entrance to Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
Police forensic officers examine the scene at the Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast, Northern Ireland, Sunday, March, 8, 2009 after two British soldiers were shot to death and four other people wounded in a drive-by ambush that politicians blamed on IRA dissidents. Suspected IRA dissidents who opened fire on British soldiers and pizza delivery men outside an army base shot their victims again as they lay wounded on the ground, police said Sunday. Two soldiers died and four other people, including two men delivering pizzas, remained hospitalized with serious wounds following Saturday night's attack at the entrance to Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
A police officer talks on his phone at the Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast, Northern Ireland, Sunday, March, 8, 2009 after two British soldiers were shot to death and four other people wounded in a drive-by ambush Saturday that politicians blamed on IRA dissidents. Suspected IRA dissidents who opened fire on British soldiers and pizza delivery men outside an army base shot their victims again as they lay wounded on the ground, police said Sunday. Two soldiers died and four other people, including two men delivering pizzas, remained hospitalized with serious wounds following Saturday night's attack at the entrance to Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
Security at the entrance to the Massereene army barracks in Antrim
Police Forensic officers examine the scene at the Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast, Northern Ireland Sunday, March, 8, 2009 after two British soldiers were shot to death and four other people wounded in a drive-by ambush that politicians blamed on IRA dissidents. Suspected IRA dissidents who opened fire on British soldiers and pizza delivery men outside an army base shot their victims again as they lay wounded on the ground, police said Sunday. Two soldiers died and four other people, including two men delivering pizzas, remained hospitalized with serious wounds following Saturday night's attack at the entrance to Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
Police Forensic officers examine the scene at the Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast, Northern Ireland Sunday, March, 8, 2009 after two British soldiers were shot to death and four other people wounded in a drive-by ambush that politicians blamed on IRA dissidents. Suspected IRA dissidents who opened fire on British soldiers and pizza delivery men outside an army base shot their victims again as they lay wounded on the ground, police said Sunday. Two soldiers died and four other people, including two men delivering pizzas, remained hospitalized with serious wounds following Saturday night's attack at the entrance to Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
A security officer patrols the entrance to the Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast, Northern Ireland Sunday, March, 8, 2009 after two British soldiers were shot to death and four other people wounded in a drive-by ambush that politicians blamed on IRA dissidents. Suspected IRA dissidents who opened fire on British soldiers and pizza delivery men outside an army base shot their victims again as they lay wounded on the ground, police said Sunday. Two soldiers died and four other people, including two men delivering pizzas, remained hospitalized with serious wounds following Saturday night's attack at the entrance to Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
A police officers patrols at the Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast, Northern Ireland Sunday, March, 8, 2009 after two British soldiers were shot to death and four other people wounded in a drive-by ambush that politicians blamed on IRA dissidents. Suspected IRA dissidents who opened fire on British soldiers and pizza delivery men outside an army base shot their victims again as they lay wounded on the ground, police said Sunday. Two soldiers died and four other people, including two men delivering pizzas, remained hospitalized with serious wounds following Saturday night's attack at the entrance to Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison) (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
Local parish members hold a prayer service at Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast, Northern Ireland Sunday, March, 8, 2009 after two British soldiers were shot to death and four other people wounded in a drive-by ambush that politicians blamed on IRA dissidents. Suspected IRA dissidents who opened fire on British soldiers and pizza delivery men outside an army base shot their victims again as they lay wounded on the ground, police said Sunday. Two soldiers died and four other people, including two men delivering pizzas, remained hospitalized with serious wounds following Saturday night's attack at the entrance to Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison) (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
Northern Ireland First Minister Peter Robinson speaks to the media in Antrim, Northern Ireland, Sunday, March, 8, 2009. The First Minister was giving his views on the deaths of two British soldiers shot late Saturday along with four injured, by dissident Irish Republican terrorists, in the first killing of British troops in Northern Ireland since 1997. Its callousness, in targeting soldiers and civilians alike, appeared calculated to inflame community tensions and undermine Northern Ireland's Catholic-Protestant administration. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
Britain's secretary of state for Northern Ireland, Shaun Woodward speaks to the media at the Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast, Northern Ireland, Sunday, March, 8, 2009 after two British soldiers were shot to death and four other people wounded in a drive-by ambush Saturday that politicians blamed on IRA dissidents. Suspected IRA dissidents who opened fire on British soldiers and pizza delivery men outside an army base shot their victims again as they lay wounded on the ground, police said Sunday. Two soldiers died and four other people, including two men delivering pizzas, remained hospitalized with serious wounds following Saturday night's attack at the entrance to Massereene army barracks in Antrim, west of Belfast. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
A man leaves flowers near Massereene army barracks, in Antrim, west of Belfast, Northern Ireland, Sunday, March, 8, 2009. Suspected IRA dissidents opened fire on British troops and pizza delivery men outside a Northern Ireland army base, killing two soldiers and wounding four other people. Police said Sunday the attackers fired on their victims again as they lay wounded on the ground. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
A man leaves flowers near Massereene army barracks, in Antrim, west of Belfast, Northern Ireland, Sunday, March, 8, 2009. Suspected IRA dissidents opened fire on British troops and pizza delivery men outside a Northern Ireland army base, killing two soldiers and wounding four other people. Police said Sunday the attackers fired on their victims again as they lay wounded on the ground. (AP Photo/Peter Morrison)
Secretary of State Shaun Woodward leaves the Massareen Army Base in Antrim today after meeting colleagues of the murdered soldiers.
First Minister Peter Robinson and Willie McRea at the scene of the attack
First Minister Peter Robinson at the scene of the attack
Representatives from the main churches who arrived at scene to pay respect
Representatives from the main churches who arrived at scene to pay respect
A masked Real IRA , (RIRA), colour party stand over the coffin of murdered dissident republican on 18/10/00
Parishioners pay respect to the families and loved ones of those affected.
Parishioners from the main churches arrived at scene to pay respect to the families and loved ones of those affected.
An abandoned car (believed to be a getaway car) on the Ranaghan Road a few miles from Massereene army base after last night's fatal shootings.
Two cars in a sealed off area outside the entrance to Massereene army base after the fatal shootings.
Forensics team searches the area
.An impromptu multi-denominational prayer services was held this afternoon at the cordon around Massareen Army Base in Antrim in memory of the murdered soldiers and the injured.
.An impromptu multi-denominational prayer services was held this afternoon at the cordon around Massareen Army Base in Antrim in memory of the murdered soldiers and the injured.

The widow of murdered Constable Stephen Carroll describes the terrible moments when she discovered she had lost the love of her life.

The knock came to the door and that has taken away my life.”

Kate Carroll describes how her world, made of a devoted husband of nearly 25 years, a son and grandchildren, came crashing down around her on Monday night.

“Love you. See you tonight,” were Constable Carroll’s last words as he left his home in Banbridge for work on Monday.

The super-fit grandfather had been in great form. “I said: ‘Why are you so happy?’ And he says: ‘I'm always happy, Kate. I'm happy with my lot and I love you’. ‘And I love you too, Mr P,’ I said. Mr P stood for Mr Procrastinator, because everything I wanted him to do was just ‘leave it, and I’ll do it tomorrow’.

“On his way out, as I did every day, I said: ‘Steve, take care, just keep your head down and take care.’ He said: ‘I am working towards my future and I have been through all the worst times. Wouldn’t it be ironic if something happened to me now just when I have a year and a half left?’

I said please tell me he’s injured. Don't tell me he’s dead

“And I said: ‘Steve, don’t talk like that. I don’t want to hear that’. So I said: ‘Love you sweetheart, see you tonight’.

“We kissed each other at the door and that was the last I saw of him until tonight.”

Mrs Carroll expected his usual phone call or text at around 10pm.

When the phonecall didn’t come, she thought he must be working late.

“A car stopped outside, so I looked out and saw a uniform. I thought: ‘Steve’s home’. I went in to make him a cup of tea. I always put the kettle on for him, then we would go up to bed.

“But then I wondered why he wasn’t coming in. So the next thing, when I opened the door, there was a policewoman and a policeman stood there. I just couldn’t believe it because Steve always said if there was a policewoman and a policeman that meant something has happened.

“And yes, something had happened to him. I just wanted to know what was wrong and I wanted to know that he was injured. I said, please tell me he’s injured. Don't tell me he’s dead.

“And Graham the policeman said: ‘Just come in and sit down and we’ll tell you’. He just told me you husband has been shot dead in Craigavon. And (then) I was on my own and I just paced and paced and they told my mum and my family and I just couldn’t believe it. I still don’t believe it, how somebody as good as him can just be taken away.

“I just can’t believe it.”

Her husband was taken home to her in a coffin on Wednesday night. “It was very difficult. I couldn’t even wait. I had to go out to the coffin. I couldn’t wait until he was inside. I just wanted to see him and be with him. I am absolutely devastated and so is my mother-in-law. No mother wants her son to die before her.”

He had many fine qualities: “He was strong. He was a good person. He was competitive. Very, very competitive. He was sporty, kind, loving, caring, romantic — all those things. He was a really, really nice person.

She spoke in the living room of her home, clasping the hand of her mother-in-law Margaret, with a picture of the couple in Paris beaming at a restaurant table.

“We met in the Coach in Banbridge, we got together and after a few times of seeing him, I was hooked. He was so adorable. He was a good man. He was lovable, he was kind, he was considerate. He was romantic.

“He was just everything a good man should be.”

He was also dedicated and efficient in everything he did. “He was very proud and took his work very seriously. He was a dedicated man in everything he did, in sport, in everything.”

Such was his interest in sport that he planned to do a sports science degree and become a personal trainer once he left the police, around 18 months before dissident republicans destroyed his chances of a future. “He made plans for everything for our future and how we would grow old together and have a fantastic future. Sadly we haven’t.”

Friends and colleagues have been descending on the house to pay their respects. “He was always smiling,” Mrs Carroll said.

“His colleagues have been saying he always had a big cheesy grin. The only thing that’s missing from him tonight is a big, cheesy grin.”



I hope this is the last time anybody has to suffer what I have suffered

The grieving widow of the PSNI officer murdered by dissident republicans has told how she wants something positive to come out of the killing of the man she loved.

Kate Carroll won’t dignify the dissident republican killers of her husband by speculating on their motives. “I don’t want to give it any credence because I don't think anything about them. They are a non-entity. I don’t care about them.”

Life is too short — and she hopes her loss will remind people of that.

“I hope that this is the last time that anybody has to suffer what I have suffered as a result of Steve’s death.

“If something positive comes out of this, that would make his death worth it. I hope he hasn’t died in vain.”

But she does want to convey something to those who threaten to plunge Northern Ireland back into the Troubles.

“I hope these people are listening and if they just realised that we only get one chance at life.

“A piece of land is a piece of land and at the end of the day, on Friday, my husband is only going to get six foot by six foot, and that’s all any of us are going to get.

“What don’t they realise this and talk to each other? I just can’t comprehend the mindset of people. Why not just enjoy your life? It’s short. It’s very, very short.

“They have robbed my son of his father and my grandkids of their grandfather, my mum (in-law) of her son and me, part of my life has gone.

“At the end of the day, I hope Steve hasn’t died in vain.”

She always feared her husband could lose his life in the line of duty. “Every time he went out it was ‘please God, keep him safe’.”

In the living room there is a picture of the constable’s graduation day, when he was lauded for his higher national certificate in sports science from Belfast Institute, an interest that was the bedrock of their plans for the future.

“He went through all that for nothing. I don’t feel angry. I just feel numb. Just sorry for the people that did this. They’re just sick.”

Mrs Carroll is aware that her ordeal, though uniquely painful for her, has also been played out among thousands of families during the Troubles.

“It’s an awful sensation and my heart goes out to so many people who have suffered and who are suffering what I am suffering now.”

There was a sense of unease following the murders of Sappers Quinsey and Asimkar in Massereene Barracks.

“I think everybody felt something. We thought all this was over, but obviously not. I can’t believe this has all started up again. If Steve’s death has made a positive effect, it’s a hard lesson for everybody to learn but if something positive comes out of it, then it’s fine. It’s all I care about.

“I don’t want Steve to have died in vain. It’s just dreadful.

“I have been robbed of my life, part of my life has gone. I just feel like he was my life. My son and my husband was my life. I just feel now that I am dead inside. It’s just devastating news to be told.”

Mrs Carroll is being supported by her mother-in-law Margaret. “I will remember him with a great deal of love,” the grieving mother said. “I’ll always be thinking of him. He’ll always be in my thoughts. I love him dearly. I always will.”

“He was a happy-go-lucky boy, a lovely boy.

“I love him to bits.”

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