Carlisle crash driver reveals fears
The lorry driver who struck ex-footballer Clarke Carlisle has said he may never get behind the wheel of one again.
Darren Pease told the Sunday Mirror he feared he had killed the former Professional Footballers' Association chairman when Carlisle jumped into the path of his 12-ton lorry on the A64, near York, last December.
The 35-year-old ex-Burnley player has previously told how he felt he "had to die" after losing his job as a pundit on ITV, going on a gambling spree and being charged with a drink-driving offence of failing to provide a sample.
Mr Pease, 53, told the paper he had suffered cuts to his face caused by glass which had shattered on impact and said he thought they would both die.
Describing the aftermath, he said: "All I could think was that I had killed someone. How am I going to live with this? What am I going to tell everybody? What do you say? It's unreal, the shock meant I couldn't stand or walk, I was in a wheelchair.
"I spent Christmas wondering if that man was going to survive. I didn't think he would. I still think it's a miracle now that he survived, no one was killed that morning.
"That feeling is indescribable - to think you are going to die. I don't think I'll ever be able to get behind the wheel of a lorry again. I can't see any way back for me at this point. I can't drive a car properly, never mind a wagon."
Mr Pease has had to take sick leave from his £19,500-a-year job and is receiving treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder, according to the paper.
Carlisle was released last month, six weeks after the incident and said that was the moment he realised he was "incredibly unwell".
Writing on Twitter at the time, Carlisle's wife Gemma appealed to those suffering from depression to seek help, and said her thoughts were with the then unknown driver of the lorry that hit her husband.
She wrote: " We send our love & thoughts to the lorry driver & family. It could have been anyone and Clarke is desperately sorry that it was him.
"Suicide & depression is not selfish. It's a serious illness where your world & reality are warped."