Poison-case nurse: 'Devil in me'
A nurse accused of murdering and poisoning hospital patients wrote that there is a "devil in me" in notes seized by police from his house.
Victorino Chua, 49, wrote the 13-page note after receiving counselling and battling with depression, Manchester Crown Court heard.
In it, Chua, who denies murdering three patients and poisoning others in his care at Stepping Hill Hospital in Stockport, Greater Manchester, talks in depth of his troubles and personal life.
The Filipino father of two, writing in broken English, states: "I'm evil at the same time angel.
"I love working in SHH (Stepping Hill Hospital) some of the staff are nice some of them are nasty bitch... Work also don't help colleagues are bullies..."
In at times rambling passages, Chua writes about his early life and career, about losing his job at a hospital in his native country and his rows with fellow Filipinos in the UK. He says he tried unsuccessfully to sue a previous employer in the UK and he made a complaint to medical watchdogs over treatment he had received from a GP.
Chua also details his battle with depression and writes that he is taking antidepressant pills.
The letter goes on: "They thought I'm a nice person but there a devil in me.
"People see me as if I got no problem because I don't show them my true colour.
"I know if I go, I go straight to hell no question ask....So I'm writing this letter in case something happen to me my family can continue my case or can tell somebody to look at it and work out how an angel turn to an evil person.
"The bitter nurse confession. Got lots to tell but I just take it to my grave. My family will make history here in England."
In the final passage of the document, found in a kitchen drawer at his house on Churchill Street, Stockport after his arrest on January 5 2012, Chua writes: "Still inside of me I can feel the anger that any time it will explode just still hanging on can still control it but if I will be pushed they gonna be sorry.
"If I only got the the wealth + money I won't be here in England."
The jury heard that during a counselling session, on June 29 2010, the defendant told his counsellor he felt better when he wrote down the complaints he had about his GP and sent them to the Health Service Ombudsman.
The counsellor suggested Chua should try writing his feelings down to provide an outlet for the anger and frustration he felt in his life at that time.
Chua told police the document was written as a result of the suggestion.
Between June and July 2012, Chua is alleged to have contaminated saline bags and ampoules with insulin using a hypodermic needle at Stepping Hill Hospital, causing three deaths and a series of poisonings.
The Crown says the defendant changed tack in January 2012, amid a police investigation and increased security, when he deliberately altered drug dosages on prescription charts.
Chua has pleaded not guilty to 36 charges, including three alleged murders, one count of grievous bodily harm with intent, 23 counts of attempted grievous bodily harm, eight counts of attempting to cause a poison to be administered and one count of administering a poison.
The trial continues.