In the week since Carole and Mike's eldest daughter walked up the aisle at Westminster Abbey, watched by billions, the internet has already yielded a brace of titillating minor scoops about their other children.
First, semi-nude images of their son James surfaced on US websites (to make matters worse, James allegedly called the websites in question, pretending to be a lawyer, and demanding the photos be removed).
Then, the motherlode: a leaked photograph of a presumed-tipsy Pippa Middleton, dancing provocatively in her lavender push-up bra.
The hordes of young men who spent the last few days Googling the maid of honour's bottom have finally been rewarded for their efforts.
This may seem like a pincer attack on the Royal family's new in-laws, but it's really just symptomatic of Brand Middleton's fingertip-singeing hotness. Prince Harry aside, Pippa and James are suddenly the most eligible pair in the land.
The Middletons have been a picture of discretion when it comes to Catherine, their most famous member. But after being so prominent on her big day, they will have to be more careful about what appears on their own friends' Facebook pages — because everyone is gagging for more.
Their mother is accustomed to the scrutiny. When her daughter first dated Prince William, Carole Middleton was painted as pushy, determined to marry her middle-class daughter to royalty.
There were the cheap jokes about her former career as an air stewardess, and the tabloid sting on Gary Goldsmith, her black sheep of a brother. Even as late as the engagement announcement, documentaries were commissioned about her (very) extended family. Yet by the day of the wedding, the tone had changed.
Carole's forebears were hailed as a long line of grafters who pulled themselves up by their bootstraps.
Her outfit was faultless, Michael's pride adorable, James's reading of Romans 12 impeccable.
Chelsy Davy was forgotten in a flurry of speculation about Harry and the presumptive ‘Princess Pippa’.
As outwardly relaxed as if Catherine and William's wedding were some small country church affair, the Middletons segued seamlessly from pushy parvenus to naturalised pillars of the Establishment.
But as the Windsors will have warned, the pleasures of pricey dresses and Christmas at Balmoral bring with them the nuisance of petty scandal.
Story so far
For Philippa Middleton, or “her Royal Hotness” as she has been crowned, global fame beckons after stealing the show from her elder sister. Since prompting a collective “phwoar” from the Twitterverse with her figure-hugging bridesmaid's dress, Pippa (27) has seen every carefree party picture and Facebook post raked over for more clues about “the most eligible woman in the world”.
JoJo Browner, her boss at Table Talk, the events catering and party managing company where Pippa works as a PR, admits she is “struggling to cope” with the media attention. Pippa, who also helps run her parents' party managing business, is now in need of her own PR.
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