Royal wedding: The hits, misses, hats and horrors
Victoria and David Beckham
You've got to admire Victoria's dedication – not many heavily pregnant women would wear stratospheric (dare we say, stripper-like) shoes. Her bump-skimming dress matched David's made-to-measure Ralph Lauren ensemble. (Shame his high collar couldn't hide his neck tattoo.)
With a swagger worthy of Liam Gallagher, the best man managed to keep his bad-boy image intact while carrying out his duties. The damage he might do later to female guests' heels with those spurs is a frightening thought, but he's banking on everyone loving a man in uniform.
John and Sally Bercow
Where to start? The Speaker's wife had a terrific opportunity (and a front-row seat) to show some style. Instead she chose to show off her décolletage in a quite unseemly fashion. "It's not about you, love," was the silent refrain around the Abbey. Still, better than a bedsheet.
Marie-Chantal of Greece
Amid a sea of perilously perched pillboxes and confoundingly ubiquitous fascinators, this Princess's elegant dove grey hat got her ahead. One of Europe's most chic royals, MC – as she's known – proves that you don't need a figure-hugging dress to show off a great figure.
HM The Queen
The one woman who will never lose her head and wear a unicorn horn or peacock tail on her head is Her Majesty. Resplendent in primrose with a proper hat and Queen Mary's True Lovers knot brooch on her shoulder, we detect there was a hint of satisfied smile playing on her lips.
Any other bride would have been upstaged by this, which we'll call "demure fox". Pippa may not have got the prince, but she became the lust object of every other man watching when she sashayed down the aisle (it looked just as good from behind).
Quips about her pointing out the nearest toilet and emergency exit in the Abbey were silenced when the mother of the bride stepped out the car in a supremely elegant Catherine Walker coat-dress: those slim calves and that Hollywood smile didn't hurt either. No fear of The Firm here.
Zara, soon to be a bride herself, must have attended a zillion posh weddings, so perhaps the giant bow on her coat's backside was part of a uniform we don't understand. But for chic make-up and understated sexiness, she won. (Also, seeing her and Mike Tindall sharing mints was adorable.)
Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice
The jokes started before the ceremony ended. Dress like a budget airline seat; hat like a commemorative urn... Was Fergie to blame? A pity that Prince Andrew's girls were so comprehensively outshone by Earl Spencer's blonde hotties – they both looked sensational the night before.
What, no hat? One woman who usually ups the sartorial ante is the Prime Minister's wife. So was her bare head a fashion statement or a political one? Her Burberry dress was a hit, selling out online in five minutes, but we thought pashminas and chunky necklaces were strictly out of vogue.
Duchess of Cornwall
Amazingly, this is one of the day's best outfits. Camilla might have mixed feelings about the nation's outpouring of love surpassing that at her own nuptials (to the power of 1,000), but she looked poised and, well, appropriate in pastel-toned Anna Valentine. Great hat, babe.
With all eyes on the drug-ravaged nose of TPT, was it wise to wear a hat that pointed directly at it? Still, the cobalt blue was a masterstroke as it looked posh and modern. Sister Santa's fur is just wrong.
It was never going to be easy, being the ex of the best man (only the groom's exes had an odder role). Ms Davy was true to her va-va-voom roots with a clingy two-piece, but wouldn't it have been priceless if she'd turned up in something long and white?
Miriam Gonzalez Durantez
Mrs Nick Clegg. Words fail us. Almost. Just "wild west bordello chic". Perhaps Spanish-born Miriam felt that black net, leather gauntlets, a turban/floral combination hat and silver material that gave her VPL would make her stand out from the politico wives crowd. And in this, she succeeded.