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Ballyhalbert finds size does matter as culture bid fails

We are deeply disturbed to learn that an application to enter Ballyhalbert for the UK City of Culture title has been turned down.

The bid came from the good people at the spoof/deadly serious (delete where appropriate) blog 1690 an all thon.

The Insider has obtained a copy of its application, which said: “You will by now have received applications from both Belfast and Londonderry (though the latter might have dropped part of their name).

“It would be important to note that both of these places are completely uncultured, especially in comparison to Ballyhalbert.

“At any time of the day, in either of those ‘cities', you will find women in pyjamas. You would not find this in Ballyhalbert, for it is usually too windy.”

Sadly the organisers have responded stating that “it is expected that a bidding area will have a sufficiently large critical mass of population, over one or more urban areas, to enable the delivery of a high-quality year-long programme of cultural events”.

They added: “We do not believe that a small village would be able to deliver this expectation. We thank you for your interest however in the City of Culture programme.”

Shame.

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