I was sipping champagne at my friend James's stag night last week when a stripper began shooting ping-pong balls from her pelvis. I was in awe of her muscle control, and when she was finished I asked her how she did it. " It's all about exercising the pelvic floor muscles," she told me. " I can lift more than 10 pounds without using my hands."
Now, I've always believed that strengthening my core muscles will make sex more pleasurable - it's part of the reason why I go to yoga - but I've become a bit lazy about my erotic exercise routine. I only do Kegel exercises once in a blue moon, and my short-lived experiment with Ben Wa balls came to an end after my flatmate's cat thought they were a toy and dragged them under a bed. But the ping-pong routine made me think again. "Men are always being blamed for having small willies, but no one ever talks about how much a woman can strengthen the muscles down there," a party guest told me. "It makes a huge difference to sex!"
I got to talking to my friends, and one who recently gave birth to her first child told me that a device called the Kegelmaster changed her life. Not only has she strengthened her muscles post-pregnancy, but she's now having the best orgasms of her life, including her first vaginal orgasm.
That was all the motivation I needed. So, while most of my girlfriends are hitting the gym in preparation for their beach holidays, I've decided to focus on toning muscles further south. I bought the Kegelmaster, billed as the "original patented progressive resistance vaginal exerciser", for £59.99 online.
When it arrived, I was sceptical. It looked like a giant curling tong. The Kegelmaster operates through a system of steel springs, and I was meant to choose the proper level of resistance and increase it as I got better - just like lifting weights at the gym. At the most intense, level 15, the resistance would be equivalent to lifting half a stone.
Ignoring the clinical look of the device and thinking about the fantastic orgasms I would be having if I used it, I pulled back the sheets and got busy. At first, doing the routine for five minutes a day felt like the unsexiest thing ever. But after about a week, during which I increased to 30 reps six times a day, a strange thing happened. I found that I could get turned on much more easily just by squeezing myself, even during dull business meetings.
So on my next date with Paul, after he started another story about how many pull-ups his trainer had him do in the park, I told him about my new routine. He was intrigued, so we decided to head back to his place and strip off in the name of scientific research. The sex was amazing. I found that contracting my muscles throughout led to heightened sensitivity and a mind-blowing orgasm. Paul could feel the difference too.
I definitely have more muscle control now. I haven't had a full-blown vaginal orgasm yet, but I'm having fun practising.