Belfast Telegraph

Thursday 10 July 2014

Cooper Brown: Fun times with Hugh Grant

Hugh Grant backed the use of injunctions to protect the private lives of celebrities

Great to hear my old pal Hugh Grant give the tabloid red tops a hammering. The lower end of the UK press has gone a bit crazy and it needed a shining knight like Hugh to come and slay the dragons.

A lot of people are saying that this campaign of his makes up for Did You Hear About The Morgans? But I'm not so sure. He's still got a way to go before we forget that stinker. I wrote to him after going to see it on a date and demanded my money back. I was only halfkidding, but he didn't get back to me, which is a shame because we used to be close back in the day. I have great memories of driving around Knightsbridge in a Bentley asking every pretty chick we saw to show us their panties for £50.



Down in the country on another crazy weekend, I persuaded three girls to strip naked and lie down on a lawn. Hugh and I then went to the other side of the house and threw eggs over the thatched roof to see if it was true that they wouldn't break on impact. I actually can't remember what the purpose of the naked girls was, but one was called Tisha and became particularly excitable in the orchard a little later on in the evening.



Thinking about all the good times, I decided to give Hugh a call on the off chance that he might be up for a drink. He answered straight away but got really paranoid when I suggested we should go paint the town red. "How do I know you're not wearing a wire?" he screamed before hanging up. Chill, dude. Cooper Out.

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A handsome bald male, Cooper Brown is a 21st century success story. While doing an internship at Paramount in LA some big shots liked the Cooper style and took him under their wing. Now he’s a veteran of the shallow, backstabbing and treacherous movie industry, and he loves it.

Twitter- @icooperbrown

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