Hi °C | Lo °C I didn't intend to write to you again so soon after my letter last week. However, since you are coming over to Northern Ireland tomorrow to see Stormont for yourself, I thought I should mark your cards in more detail.
You're a bit like the CEO of a big company coming over to review one of his branches which is not delivering the goods. The first question you might ask yourself is ‘is the Northern Ireland Executive and its 108-seat Assembly really necessary?’
On performance to date, I would forgive you if you concluded ‘No’ but, in fairness, it's still too early to say. Stormont should be about preserving the peace this country did not enjoy for 30 years. To some extent, that peace is still dependent upon the existence of the Executive and therefore its premature demise would not be helpful.
It's also true that we've had another low-key summer and you should note that Cardinal Brady paid a generous tribute to the Orange Order on that score. Rare praise indeed but another hopeful sign of change in the right direction.
Stormont should also be about promoting and protecting the interests of Northern Ireland within the UK, on the island of Ireland, and in the wider world. It should be about doing things better than direct rule from London.
The problem with the current arrangement is the DUP and Sinn Fein have arrived belatedly at the politics of compromise. They are still serving their respective apprenticeships. They have spent their past in confrontation, the authoritarianism of Ian Paisley in one camp and of Gerry Adams and the IRA Army Council in the other.
Therefore, it should come as no surprise to you that they have struggled to reach agreement on so many pieces of local legislation. That's because each side has been used for so long to arguing black to the other's white. Now we are expecting them to use the contrast button to turn black and white into a mutually agreed shade of grey.
If Northern Ireland played soccer like the Stormont Executive plays politics, we would be whipped six-nil in every match. The over-riding impression of the past 15 months since the Executive was formed, is of a collection of individuals, some of whom have little or no appreciation of what teamwork actually means.
That is what you, Gordon, have got to get a grip on, otherwise you will find yourself — presuming you survive in the months ahead — coming back time and time again to Belfast exasperated, like we are, by Stormont's indecisiveness.
You should tell Peter Robinson and Martin McGuinness that the buck stops no longer with you in London but with them in Belfast. They need to face up to their responsibilities and that means more talking to one another and not at one another.
The Office of the First and Deputy First Minister should be the catalyst for compromise amongst the other ministers at Stormont. The politics of limboland are not good enough for a place like this which needs urgent change and attention in so many areas. Disagreements should be sorted out in Belfast, not London or Dublin.
Peace alone is not enough. Where is the dynamic at Stormont to set Northern Ireland on a new course? We don't see much in the way of new ideas and plans coming out of the mouths of our 10 ministers.
Some of them are still living in the shadow of the Northern Ireland Civil Service and Permanent Secretaries. Feeling their way.
Fielding questions in the Assembly but not really revealing a great deal of original thinking in their answers.
I doubt if the electorate is impressed. That it feels it has been bombarded with legislation which might change our lives for the better. We don't want pen-pushers at Stormont. We want politicians with the courage of their convictions on the one hand but the willingness and flexibility to reach a consensus on the other.
It would be interesting to hear from them all one by one, as to what exactly they have contributed and what they have achieved.
If I were you, I would meet each one of them, put them on the square and ask what they think they have achieved to date and what they have in mind for the next six months.
The worry I have about Stormont is that there is no real incentive for someone, who is not performing, to do any better. There is no apparent way of removing one of them from his or her post, if ministerial work is unsatisfactory. Therein lies a great weakness of this form of power-sharing, partnership, coalition government, call it what you will. Another weakness is the fact that so many of the Stormont team also hold down jobs as Westminster MPs. I ask myself which is the most important to them?
If Stormont fails to deliver, or even collapses, it may not be the end of the political world for those who have a Westminster seat as a fall-back.
Most of the Executive have long experience dealing with the media and have plenty to say for themselves. Unfortunately, too much of this is still rhetorical point-scoring.
How many of them are actually on top of their ministerial briefs and could truly be subjected to a wide-ranging grilling on their responsibilities?
So there you have it, Prime Minister. Have a nice day at Stormont tomorrow but don't take Peter, Martin and the 10 ministers at face value.
They still have a lot to prove to us, the electorate of Northern Ireland. Indeed, one or two can count their lucky stars that they are only appearing in front of you and not Sir Alan Sugar. Otherwise the dreaded words: "You're fired!" might echo outside their offices.
Yours, Ed
