Miley Cyrus Bangerz tour: Here's a parental advisory - it's your fault if you take child to this gig
Published 19/05/2014 | 09:04
Taking your 10-year-old daughter to a Miley Cyrus gig – and you can bet there will be plenty of girls that age and much, much younger at the Belfast concert – is an act of parental lunacy.
What kind of message are you sending her by allowing her to go?
This isn't about singing, which is a shame because behind all the twerking and the licking and the grinding Miley has a pretty good voice, strong and emotive.
It's about selling sex: the brash, plastic, one-dimensional, robotic and soulless version.
It's supposed to be terribly subversive and adventurous and naughty, but in fact it's about as erotic as the Benny Hill show.
And it's tediously predictable, too. It's as if Cyrus or, more accurately, her managers and marketing team have come up with all the titillating topics they can think of, lumped them together, and chucked in a few cuddly cartoon creatures to remind us that – yes, we know – Miley is a good girl gone bad, Disney princess turned devil woman.
There's nothing much to shock an adult here, but there's plenty to mess up a preteen mind.
What's your little girl going to make of Miley and chums having a pretend orgy in an on-stage bed?
Or Miley getting spanked by a giant fluffy dog?
Or Miley simulating sex with a big gold car?
And that's before we get on to the inevitable twerking, jerking and crotch-grabbing that makes up the rest of her act.
In her London show Cyrus encouraged the audience to start sticking their tongues down each others' throats in the hope of getting their faces beamed around the venue.
"I hear you guys are even sluttier than Americans," she shouted out to the arena. "The dirtier you all get, the more chance you got of getting on that screen."
Claiming that this is about sexual liberation, Miley throwing off the shackles of her wholesome image in order to embrace the dirty delights of the adult world, is patent rubbish.
It's clear that this pantomime is just as much a manufactured confection as the winsome Hannah Montana character that Cyrus previously played.
It's all superficial nonsense; silly, trivial fluff.
Older teenagers – well, the smarter ones anyway – are capable of understanding that, and maybe even enjoying the absurdity of it all. Little kids aren't. They just wonder why Miley is rubbing her private parts on the bonnet of a car.
But you can't lay the blame for any of this at Miley Cyrus' feet. The onus isn't on her to behave like a role model.
The onus is on parents to behave like parents, and keep their young daughters away until they're old enough to know better.