Belfast Telegraph

Friday 18 April 2014

Career need perking up? Get your jungle bikini on

MP’s brazen bathing takes a well-trodden celeb path

Nadine Dorries bathing in the jungle pool

I never thought I would see the day when a story about I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here would make it even into the Daily Telegraph.

So to have it as a main picture story emblazoned across Wednesday's front page was quite incredible to say the least. Some might even call it an abomination.

So, what brought on this bizarre change of house style? Had the very bastion of all things utterly British (or at least its editor) taken leave of its senses? Is it finally “dumbing down” to red-topped tabloid levels to attract a broader spectrum of readers, or has the trashiest reality show of them all for once produced a story worthy of discussion amongst the conservative chattering classes?

Actually, it's none of the above. I reckon the sight of Nadine Dorries — a famously feisty female — brazenly bathing in a swimming costume was a photo they just couldn't miss nor resist.

The fact that she's an MP who has been in trouble with her party for appearing on the show arguably gives the story a tentative political element.

But mostly it's because of the wet cossie.

Heads may very well roll in the paper's newsroom today, but I bet the readership momentarily spiked all the same. Sex sells, after all.

And, of course, the I'm A Celebrity shower scene has become the most famous photo-opportunity on a show which borders on soft porn when the camera hones in on the waterfall.

I’m A Celebrity entered the realms of being a prime-time peep show when it was launched firmly on to the front page by Myleene Klass and her curve-bursting bikini in 2006.

My-oh-my-oh Myleene! That wet white bikini became almost as iconic as the one Ursula Andress (left) wore in Dr No and it relaunched her career to new dizzy heights that she had never even dreamed of. Heck, look what it did for the fame and fortune of Kerry Katona and Katie Price too.

Since the headline-busting success of those ladies, young starlets such Stacey Solomon and Helen Flanagan know exactly how to create the money shot with some gushing water and a pretty bikini completely impractical for jungle life.

Now I'm not suggesting that Ms Dorries is destined to become the next pin-up in Zoo magazine. Nor would she want that. Not at all.

Nadine Dorries did try to explain that she agreed to appear on the show to bring her political message to the masses.

Yeah, right.

Well so far, from what I've seen, there hasn't been a great deal of that.

Admit it, Nadine. You did it as an ego-trip and to get yourself recognised.

Whether we'll recognise her in anything other than a Spanx Fuller-Figure-Flattering onesie remains to be seen.

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