It seems Katie Price has a new book out.

How do I know? Because the tabloids have been plastered with pictures of her holding copies of Sapphire — wot she rote wiv a ghost writer — while dressed charmingly in a spangly (fake) sapphire encrusted leotard.

This is no doubt destined to become THE number one best-seller in such high-brow literary establishments as Tesco and Asda, (although it is already half-price at Waterstones ? can’t think why) and will no doubt feature there for many months to come alongside the words and wisdom of other literary luminaries such as Coleen Rooney and Sharon Osbourne.

I for one hope never to have to read it simply because, well, she’s appalling, basically.

A quote from the brilliant American wit, Dorothy Parker, springs instantly to mind: “This is not a book one can put down lightly. It should be thrown with great force!”