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Frances Burscough: How my little chef conjures up a special angel delight

Thursday, 27 November 2008

My 12-year-old son wants the knife laws to be changed. Don’t be alarmed, he’s not a gang member bent on violence or a ‘hoodie’ with a score to settle — he wants to buy a set of professional chefs’ knives.

From the age of seven, all Finn has ever wanted to be “when he grows up” is a chef. At first, knowing how contrary kids can be — one minute it’s a train-driver and the next it’s a professional footballer — I took it with a pinch of salt and a drizzle of Balsamic vinegar. But five years later his ambition is still the same. In fact he even chose his secondary school purely on the strength of its home economics department.

It had all begun one evening when I let him make an Angel Delight to use up a surplus half pint of milk. Anyone who has ever made one will know it’s not exactly rocket science: you just rip open the sachet, pour both ingredients into a bowl, whisk, and then watch it set. But for Finn, who had never even buttered a slice of bread, this was utter magic and when he tested it he pronounced it to be “the best thing I have ever tasted!”

After that personal epiphany there was no stopping him. On his following birthday he asked for a popcorn machine and a milk-shake maker and with them produced his first single-handed ‘meal’ for me and his brother, consisting of, er, popcorn followed by milkshake.

Then on Mother’s Day I was ceremoniously presented with a Dairylea toastie dripping with molten Branston pickle, a grilled unripe banana and a workman-sized mug of lukewarm milky tea, with the tea bag still floating on the surface.

Then he sat at the end of my bed and watched intently until the last mouthful was finished, so pouring it into a plant and feeding it to the dogs wasn’t an option.

But since those early attempts he has worked hard to master his art, becoming more eager and more determined with each mouthful.

When I’m cooking, he’s always close by, keen to collaborate with the peeling and chopping and stirring and tasting. And of course I have always encouraged him, not only because it’s useful and great company to have my own personal sous chef in the kitchen. but it’s also really rewarding to see him develop such a passion at such an early age.

I say passion because it is far more than just a hobby. For example, whereas most of us would struggle to name more than a couple of successful chefs, he has a top ten (whom he would like to work with, of course) which includes Aldo Zilli and James Martin.

No, I’d never heard of them either.

And whereas other boys of his age would happily spend their free time watching cartoons and playing Playstation, he likes nothing better than a double bill of Market Kitchen followed by Masterchef repeats on UKTV Food.

Meanwhile, his older teenage brother hasn’t quite worked out how to make a piece of toast. So this weekend, with the money he saved up from his recent birthday, we are heading into Belfast to scour the kitchen departments for a set of Global knives and then on Sunday he will be preparing our Sunday dinner for the first time, using the proper tools of the trade, but this time with me as his sous-chef.

Visions of severed fingers and an afternoon in Casualty spring alarmingly to mind, but he’s determined to do it. So all that remains is for me to buy the ingredients from his shopping list —

1 hare (Do they sell these at the Co-op?)

1 bottle Claret

Shallots

Porcini mushrooms

Balsamic vinegar

Smoked pancetta

1 Angel Delight.

Cute Suri, the main attraction

There’s probably only one celebrity in Tinseltown who has more pulling power than Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes put together, but the superstar couple seem more than happy to step aside and offer up the limelight. It is, after all, their daughter Suri.

The cuter-than-cute two-year-old has become such an attraction that when she’s on tow the paparazzi virtually ignore her famous folks and focus their attention — and their lenses — solely in her direction. So much so, in fact, that in recent weeks she’s become as much of a fixture in the world’s press as Angelina Jolie and Victoria Beckham.

We’ve seen her munching on chocolate, whizzing down a slide, devouring a giant cup cake, dressed in a fairy costume, dolled-up in a velvet party frock, cuddling a teddy, sucking her thumb sleepily and sticking her tongue out at photographers.

Strangely, instead of being protective of the child and concerned about the effects such exposure might have, Tom Cruise is delighted at the constant attention: “I have to say some of those paparazzi shots of my daughter are incredible! As a parent you protect your children but Suri is a very open and warm child and she will just wave to people on the street.”

But if that isn’t unsettling enough, in the latest issue of the business magazine Forbes, Suri Cruise is named as “the most influential toddler in America”.

Suri's first place ranking on the list comes from strong performances across the board. She earned the top spot for public awareness and was referenced in more than 1,300 news articles,” it said.

As yet it is not known how the child feels about such an accolade, as no interviews have been arranged. They must be waiting until she can actually talk first.

Da-da. Ma-Ma. Din-Dins. Press-Con-fer-ence.

Trekkie Takei is the true star

Having selflessly given up many hours of my free time to watch every episode of I’m A Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here!, much to the disgust of my sons and boyfriend who pretend to hate it but watch it avidly nevertheless, I am now in a position to predict the winning line-up.

In third place will be cheeky-chappie-diamond-geezer-ladies’-man Joe Swash. He has charmed us with his cockney humour, his bravery in face of adversity and a heap of creepy-crawlies — the worst being David Van Day — whilst standing up against the tyranny of the WAGs. Second will be the marvellous matriarch Esther Rantzen who has laughed, cried, shouted, whispered and ruled the roost from day one, while managing to retain everyone’s respect thanks to her tact and sensitivity.

But the winner, if there’s any justice in the universe as we know it, has to be the wonderfully eccentric George Takei, aka Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu from Star Trek. How he has managed to remain so calm, so dignified and so eloquent whilst surrounded by many vile aliens — the worst being Nicola McLean — is beyond comprehension. He deserves to ‘live long and prosper’ as the true champion of 2008.

And that’s affirmative, captain.

Ramsay's wife should serve up tasty recipe of revenge

Tana Ramsey, wife of chef Gordon, has had a very difficult week following allegations of her husband’s indiscretions with writer Sarah Symonds (right).

Tana (above) has made a name for herself appearing on UK cookery programmes specialising in family-friendly cookery; she is beautiful, down-to-earth and a very likeable woman; she is the wife of a high-profile celebrity and she has been publicly humiliated by the reports this past week ... Let’s also hope that she continues upwards in her career until she ultimately outshines her other half. I’m guessing that a lot of women in the UK will be behind her all the way.

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Once again Frances Burscough hits the nail on the head about the ups and downs of rearing kids. My wife and I love her columns and even save them to show to our own "wee ones" who are well up now and enjoy them just as much.

Keep up the good work!

J

ps. I'm a chef and he can have a job with me anytime!!

Posted by J286 | 04.12.08, 11:47 GMT

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I'm sure Frances Burscough's "wee ones" are very nice, but I am a bit tired of reading about them all the time. I don't see how that is topical or intelligent opinion. I know I'm the same about my own "wee ones", I think they are the most amazing thing ever, but I know other people aren't quite so interested in them as myself! Can we not have more newsworthy columns in future please?

Posted by FermanaghYummyMummy | 27.11.08, 15:02 GMT

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