Belfast Telegraph

Thursday 31 July 2014

Frances Burscough: How women and men are worlds apart

The geography of a woman has many more directions than a man.

A jovial slap on the back to all those faithful mirthful readers who send me jokes on a regular basis.

There are so many in my in-tray now that I’m thinking of publishing a joke book and sharing the royalties with you all.

Of course, I can’t print every one (that would make my job far too easy!) However, here is one I feel ties in nicely with the typical tone of this page.

It was sent in by Terry:

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa: |half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally |beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe: well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain: very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece: |gently ageing but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain: with a glorious and all-conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel: she is strong and uncompromising, having been through war, and she won’t make the same mistakes twice.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada: self-preserving but open to new people and new challenges.

After 70, she becomes like Tibet: with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN:

Between 1 and 90, a man is like Iran: ruled by nuts.

How women and men are worlds apart

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