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Friends Reunite after "going on a break"

By Frances Burscough

Published 23/01/2016

Frances Burscough
Frances Burscough

It was a funny coincidence that in the same week it was disclosed that the website Friends Reunited was to close down, it was also announced that the cast of Friends were to reunite for a new episode. Well, I thought it was funny. And so would Chandler, no doubt.

To be honest, although the series officially ended 12 years ago, it never really went away in our house. My boys and I enjoy it so much that we watch one episode most evenings on Comedy Central channel where it plays on a seemingly never-ending loop. In fact, the dogs are so used to it playing at suppertime that as soon as the first few chords of the theme tune come on, they start to salivate like Pavlov’s dogs and run into the kitchen for their din-dins.

But yes, according to friends close to the friends, they’ve finally agreed to come together for a two-hour special as a tribute to the director James Burrows, who is celebrating his 1000th television show this year. Although little is known about the storyline — and let’s face it, there have been numerous reports of a reunion over the last decade, including false reports of a feature film — it appears that they’ve all now signed on the dotted line for a one-off comeback.

And, to paraphrase Mr Bing, could I be more happy? No. The only problem I can see is, would a close friendship like theirs withstand the passage of time and stay strong while their different circumstances and lives inevitably change beyond recognition?

In the real world, we all know how hard it is to maintain contact with buddies once you split up, move away and start to lead separate lives.

All this is conjecture and will remain so until we hear those familiar dulcet tones once again: “So no-one told you it was gonna be this wayyyyy!” as a brand spanking new episode reveals the (fictitious) truth. But in the meantime there’s no harm in guessing their fate is there?  So here’s my prediction of what may have happened in the last Friendless decade:

Rachel never really forgave Ross for the emotional blackmail that resulted in her giving up her once-in-a-lifetime chance to work in Paris. They got married for a second time — but Rachel dumped Ross for good after he accidentally said “Emily” at the altar.

Ross’s job as a paleantologist  progressed to new heights when he became a presenter of a TV series on Nat Geo Wild and made a fortune with merchandising toy dinosaurs with authentic voice sound effects. Meanwhile, Rachel’s career as a fashion buyer came to an end once the economic downturn took hold. She ended up selling her Bloomingdale’s and Ralph Lauren designer clothes on eBay and eking out a living  as a freelance fashion reporter. They shared custody of Emma and that was going ok until she ran away from home to join a religious cult.

Monica and Chandler moved to the suburbs, where Monica started a posh catering business called Mon’s Venus while Chandler set up his own advertising agency called BadaBing. It was about this time that Chandler started to dress like a woman, just as his dad had done before him. Monica was shocked at first but eventually got used to it and now they go shopping for lingerie together and do each other’s make-up.

Joey got a big break, starring in a new sitcom on HBO about a neurosurgeon who swapped his brain with his pet chimpanzee’s as an experiment, with hilarious results. He moved to LA and has been linked with various celebrities and movie starlets but never really got over his ill-fated crush on Rachel. Will they hook up again, this time for good? Who knows!

Phoebe and Mike split up in 2004 when she was sacked from her massage parlour for soliciting and arrested by the vice squad. She ended up living rough on the streets again but has recently moved in to live with her brother Frank Junior, his wife (and ex-teacher) Mrs Knight and their surrogate triplets Frank Junior Jr, Chandler and Leslie, who all look remarkably like Phoebe, are possessed with demons and communicate with each other in a secret feral language.

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