Blimey what a weekend that was! Sadly as a mere mortal I didn’t get a golden ticket to attend the actual MTV awards per se (despite trying everything I could think of to get my foot in the door ... er ... apart from blackmailing Justin Bieber with a paternity suit and streaking naked across the Odyssey).
Nevertheless I still joined in the mass-media madness by attending the next best thing — the MTV Ice Party in the Porceleine Suite at Ten Square.
I knew this was going to be a really flashy event — possibly thee flashiest ever — so I decided to dress accordingly, in a dominatrixstyle catsuit with thigh-high leather boots and a matching bolero that has been cowering in the ‘fancy dress’ section of my closet for years until I plucked up the courage to actually venture out wearing it.
Meanwhile I did my hair in the style of Christina Aguilera — you know, crimped to within an inch of its natural life as though I'd just put my finger into a live electrical socket. It’s now or never I thought, as I trussed myself up and waited for my taxi to arrive, all the while getting dubious “You’re not seriously going out in that?” type looks from both my sons.
Fortunately it was just as well I pushed the boat out too. The event was certainly not too shabby, with free bubbly upon arrival served in individual bottles with straws by statuesque models dressed head to toe in sparkling silver and mirrors (I think they were supposed to be Smirnoff Ice Maidens) and a line of paparazzi waiting to capture your frozen smile for assorted glossy magazines.
Everyone who thought they were anyone was there too, including lots of fashionistae from Belfast Fashion Week, all the most stunning models, influential designers, and any number of flamboyant gay men going gaga over Lady Gaga as the images from the Odyssey were beamed live onto two massive screens. Meanwhile a free bar was in operation all night too, so, as I wasn’t driving and was officially off-duty, my recollections of the evening waned ever so slightly as the night wore on.
However, one sight I will never forget was when the Belfast fashion designer Gráinne Maher noticed the megastar presenter Selena Gomez — in front of a global audience of billions — wearing not one but two of her distinct necklaces.
Her mouth dropped open and she mouthed “OH MY GOD!!! LOOK!!!!” whilst dancing on the spot with sheer glee. It was a moment of such joy and pride that everyone around her — even total strangers — were affected by the ripple of excitement and started cheering and applauding.
Needless to say the (free) drinks flowed in celebration. As for rest of the evening, well, it became a little hazy after that ...