Why all I want for Christmas is my boys
Twas the night before Christmas...Yes, the moment we’ve all been waiting for is nearly here and all that remains is ...er ... the complete chaos of a typical Christmas Day.
But do you ever wonder what the day must be like in the home of those celebrities who are so wealthy that they probably have servants to do everything for them? I always do, and in fact, comparing Christmases with the rich and famous has become a bit of a festive tradition in this column.
So, in keeping with our own tradition, here’s a run-down of how certain celebs celebrate the season this year and last year, from the sublime to the ridiculous in no particular order ...
Mariah Carey may have produced more festive records than Cliff Richard, but she’s most famous for the uplifting anthem “All I want for Christmas is You”, which begins with the memorable line “I don’t want a lot for Christmas ...” However, she is more than happy (who wouldn’t be?) to accept a complementary stay at the most idyllic (and expensive) mansion imaginable courtesy of her friends at AirB’n’B. Nestling in the snowy mountains of Aspen, Colorado, this luxuriously souped-up log cabin which normally costs $10,000 per night has been gifted to her and her entire family for the whole of the holiday season. It comes complete with six gigantic full-sized Christmas trees, its own herd of reindeer and enough fairy lights to illuminate Blackpool, not to mention wthe indoor cinema, sauna, games room and a complementary private jet to airlift her to her heavenly hideaway. Jammy git!
Meanwhile, the old adage “What do you give to the woman who has everything?” certainly applied in the household of John Legend and his beautiful wife Chrissy Teigen. With a talented successful millionaire husband, a modelling and television career worth millions of your own, a new gourmet cookery book about to be published and an adorable new baby, her cup obviously runneth over, but Chrissy was delighted to be given a wheel of Parmesan cheese! Now we’re not talking a slab from the chilled goods counter at Tesco, either. This is a FULL cheese, flown-in especially from Italy, weighing in at over 50lbs and costing upwards of $1,000. Apparently you carve a hole in the middle of it and pour your hot pasta directly into the centre where it gradually melts as you scoop it out onto your plate ... if you’re a millionaire that is. Sounds delicious, but I’d rather have a turkey at Christmas, myself.
Of course, the Kardashian Klan go all-out at Christmas and then brag about everything for days afterwards, sharing pictures on social media so that we can all gawp in amazement at their gaucheness. Kanye, for example, bought Kim an original Hermes Birkin last year, but it wasn’t just any old $100,000 handbag. He had it hand-painted by one of his favourite artists, with a design featuring lots of naked laydees with disproportionately big boobs and booties. How charming. It ended up looking like a sow’s ear in the end, but Kim did manage a smile selfie because ... well it was so damned expensive ... and that’s what giving is all about isn’t it, surely?
Kim, meanwhile, gave her daughter North a wee toy car, but not a Matchbox or a Tonka, Hell no! This was a scaled-down replica of her dad’s matte black Lamborghini concept car that was the perfect size for a toddler to sit in and to actually drive. Eek!
For her sister Khloe it was a camouflage jacket by Balmain, couture-customised with the words “Khlo-Money” in embroidery on the back. Tasteful! While Kylie got no less than a ten carat diamond solitaire “promise ring” off her on/off boyfriend, Tyga.
Record labels were also being pretty lavish last year with their leading ladies. Lady Gaga was gifted a white horse by her friends at Interscope Records, while Rihanna got a Porsche 911 TurboS worth $130K from Roc Nation.
For me, though, the greatest gift this Christmas will be sharing a meal with both my sons, home for the holidays. Everything else is just a bonus. Merry Christmas to you all!