Belfast Telegraph

Saturday 19 April 2014

Eurovision isn't about real music

Singer Loreen of Sweden won this year's song contest

No, no, no, no - and again no. Euphoria by Sweden's Loreen (a strange cross between Kate Bush and Claudia Winkleman) shouldn't have won because it sounds just like something you'd hear on the radio.

And what's the point of that? If Eurovision is about producing perfectly acceptable (if rather samey) dance records then they might as well put away our feathery dresses, violin players, strange hats and unfeasibly tight trousers and we'll watch MTV (or whatever those crazy young people watch these days).

Yes, justice was done but, sometimes, justice is boring. And if Eurovision loses its kitsch then what exactly is it for? Music? Don't be absurd.

Better the slightly nauseating tweeness of the Russian Grannies or even the Hump straddling absurdly difficult key changes while warbling about love setting you free (or some such patently untrue truism) than the generic dance music I can hear anywhere, anytime. (The fact I don't want to is another matter entirely). If this is the way things are going, let's just call the whole thing off.

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