After all, two against one is never fair odds. Besides, it seems that it is the Johns who have a problem with Maddie rather than the other way round.

Indeed, they appear to have started it after Madonna won a best live act gong a few years ago and they accused her of lipsynching at concerts.

Then, at last week's Golden Globes, Elton mused on the best Original Song award for which both he and Maddie had been nominated: "Mary J [Blige] might win it for The Help. Madonna doesn't have a ****ing chance."

Hardly an observation worthy of Cole Porter. And, in repaying in kind, Madonna didn't exactly cover herself in glory. When Elton's words were relayed down the red carpet, she responded: "Was he wearing a dress?"

After Madonna won the Golden Globe for best song for W.E, Furnish saddled up and took the low road: "Madonna winning ... truly shows how these awards have nothing to do with merit. Her acceptance speech was embarrassing in its narcissism. And her criticism of [Lady] Gaga shows how desperate she really is." Mee-ow. Of course, Furnish has since attempted to play down the cattiness of his remarks by saying it was caused by his and Elton's passion for their Gnomeo -amp; Juliet project and insisting that Madonna was a great artist.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The fact remains that the pair seem to have a real problem with Madonna. And right now that problem is that Madonna won best song. It's curious, too, because Madonna is seen as driven and ambitious, the polar opposite of loveable, cheeky chappie Elton, yet one wonders just who is more desperate for glory.

Curiouser, still, is that Furnish thinks anyone gives a damn what his opinion is, except as an indication of what Elton is thinking.