Simon Cowell needs to come back and save Britain's Got Talent
Britain's Got Talent has apparently lost 1.3 million viewers since the last series.
Of course, that is understandable. What is the point of watching if the Lord High Executioner (aka Simon Cowell) isn't going to be there?
In all fairness, a panel of Amanda Holden, Michael McIntyre and David Hasselhoff promises more of a group hug than a blood-stained knife - and group hugs aren't really why we watch this show.
As this year's first show proved, it's all starting to look a bit tired.
Novelty act after novelty act, dancers, performing dogs, a woman doing something with hula hoops and a man pretending to be a dolphin ... enough said about the sparkling entertainment on display. Cowell is in the US, hoping to conquer primetime over there, but he will be back for the live heats of BGT.
Perhaps he should return sooner ... because at this rate there'll be nobody watching when he finally turns up.