They'll love being brought to book
As exposés in the Sunday red tops go, celebrities have woken up to much, much worse ...
After all, if revelations in a new book are to be believed, then Simon Cowell is an unstoppable lothario who counts Dannii Minogue among his list of conquests.
Not bad for a man who teeters into every boudoir in personality lifts and high-waisted trews, his rictus grin frozen with Botox.
Indeed, not bad for a man of whom it has been questioned whether he would teeter into any lady's bedroom at all...
But then who could resist the lustrous Dannii?
In the tome, Cowell himself is quoted as saying: "I had a crush on her. It was Dannii's hair, the sexy clothes ... I was like a schoolboy. She was foxy. She was a real man's girl. Very feminine."
Not bad for a woman who has just split from her partner and is in need of a morale-booster.
As for Cheryl? The daft popstrel is described as an intriguing and complex woman who played Cowell like a cat with a mouse. Eh?!
Not bad for a doormat who took back her cheating husband and could barely utter a coherent sentence on X Factor.
Unauthorised biography! Secret love affair! Sensational revelations!
No wonder Cowell himself Tweeted: "Just seen the ad for the unauthorised biography on me. Yikes!"
Yikes? Bring it on more like.