Jessie, stop pretending The Voice is for real
Published 28/04/2012 | 08:00
Okay, so The Voice is definitely a hit - even Simon Cowell has admitted, through gritted teeth, that the BBC finally has a Saturday night show which is causing him concern.
However, the two-way vocal battles we saw on the show this weekend mark it as the stupidest talent show ever seen on UK telly, and that includes Watercolour Wars. As each singer took turns to scream with eye-popping vein-throbbing volume into the faces of their 'opponent', and everything that makes great singing - self-expression, nuance, individuality - was snuffed out, The Voice surrendered any pretensions it had about its superior credibility.
The four 'experts' watching all declared themselves 'blown away'. Considering the amount of wind power summoned by the desperate stage screechers, I'm not surprised.
It must have felt like a force nine gale in the studio.
But surely at least one of them was thinking, this is fricking ridiculous.
Hasn't the industry moved on from the gladiatorial days when record companies used to lock Frank Sinatra and Bob Dylan in a room and make them bellow the lines of Sheena is a Punk Rocker at each other to decide which would get TV ads for their next album?
If The Voice wants to give us the wink and admit it's a totally idiotic game show made for laughs and melodrama, I'll go with that.
But as long as Jessie J keeps telling us it's about talent and discovery, she's about as credible as Louis Walsh's wrinkle-free forehead.