Belfast Telegraph

Tuesday 31 May 2016

Mama, see what preaching does

By Jane Graham

Published 13/10/2012

Teen trouble: Madonna didn’t set such great example to her daughter Lourdes
Teen trouble: Madonna didn’t set such great example to her daughter Lourdes

It's an unavoidable fact that having children makes hypocrites of us all. No one wants their own kids to do what their own younger selves did. David Beckham probably kissed too many girls.

Mother Theresa probably cheated at hide'n'seek. St Patrick probably smoked too much crack. Ah, the foibles of youth!

Spare a thought then for Madonna, the woman who posed in a dog-collar -amp; gimp-mask two-piece for her glossy 'sex on the coffee table' book in 1992 but who, according to Lourdes, won't let her 15-year-old daughter wear 'too-low V-necks or short shorts'.

Apparently the clashes between the two hotheads have got so fierce lately that Lourdes is leaving her mother, whose control freak reputation precedes her even at the local kebab-house ('organic lamb only'), to go and live with her father, so crazily laid back that he lets her watch Nickelodeon AND read Vogue (unless mom's doing hooker-chic that month).

A better role model for parents who want mental peace and familial harmony is Colin Farrell's sensible sounding mum Rita. Farrell spoke this week about how Rita's reaction to her son's lusty pubescence was to organise his porn mags in chronological order, thus keeping his room tidy, letting him know she knew, and introducing him to a good filing system.

These days she spends much of her time living with him in LA, helping out with his two sons. Colin says she's having a rare old time and it's clear he loves her to bits. Take heed Madge.

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