There are many mysteries on contemporary television.
Why Midsomer Murders, now starring a goofish Neil Dudgeon, keeps being re-commissioned, while the sexy, stylish Zen, which starred a smouldering Rufus Sewell, lies forgotten in the dumpster. How Masterchef's editor sticks so precisely to the same formula, second for second, on every show (4.56: cut to Gregg pulling an 'Ooh matron!' Kenneth Williams face while tasting chocolate fondue). Why Phil Spencer hasn't yet lunged for Kirstie Allsopp.
But perhaps the greatest enigma of all surrounds Piers Morgan's Life Stories.
Back in 2009 the programme showed ambition, with the King of Make 'em Cry snaring a weeping Cheryl Cole, a teary Gordon Brown and a slightly frowny Simon Cowell. However, last week, Morgan topped – or bottomed – a guest list of diminishing returns with a focus on. Bruno Tonioli. The camp chap from Strictly Come Dancing. Surely it's time to put this dying dog out of its misery?