I laughed out loud when I read about a nude, post skinny-dipping Emma Thompson being spotted by a dog walker near her croft in Dunoon and reported to police as 'a naked man, about 50 years old'. Not because the description is so insulting, but because none of us would have heard about it had Emma Thompson herself not spread the tale.
I first fell in love with Emma Thompson back in 1987 when I saw her play smart cookie Suzi Kettles, girlfriend and fellow band member of Robbie Coltrane's rock 'n' roll frontman in the brilliant BBC series Tutti Frutti.
Suzi Kettles was everything I wanted to be when I grew up. Sexy, smart, quick-witted - no man could throw out a funny one line put-down faster than her - she was also kind, nurturing, and always capable in the face of disaster. The more I've found out about Emma Thompson since, the more she reminds me of the formidable Ms Kettles.
Always eminently sensible - there is a distinct absence of courting the media throughout her career, even when it wasn't going so well (anyone remember 'Thompson'?) - she's always struck me as the embodiment of good sense. Despite being one of our finest living actresses - certainly up there with Maggie Smith, probably better than Helen Mirren or Judi Dench - she's never lost her self-deprecating sense of humour, and displays an astonishing lack of vanity.
As the source of this latest, cruel piece of gossip, she stands head and shoulders above her peers, even with the body of a fiftysomething bloke.