Belfast Telegraph

Saturday 20 December 2014

Ulrika Jonsson has no Ikea how to stay classy

Ulrika Jonsson
Ulrika Jonsson
Ulrika Jonsson
Ulrika Jonsson
Ulrika Jonsson

Ulrika Jonsson says making love with Sven was like making Ikea furniture.

I'm guessing Sven is pretty embarrassed by this, perhaps most of all by having chosen to have an affair with the kind of woman who didn't regard publicly criticising an ex's performance in bed as classless.

But bearing in mind building those Billy bookcases is usually a complex, unpredictable experience which takes all night, and leaves one with feelings of deep satisfaction upon completion, I'd say Sven should be puffing out his chest in the light of Ulrika's assessment.

Gary Lineker should be so lucky.

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