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Madonna spent awful lot to look this cheap
Where Nick Clegg may have slipped up when he described how he and his wife buy their children's clothes from Primark, was that he was wearing a £600-plus designer suit at the time.
Forget protesters, this world summit is Gr8 chance for us to shine at last
Prime time dramas showcasing the scenic splendour of this part of the world are currently coming at us faster than you can say Bafta award-winning TV series. They include the dark, new thriller The Fall starring local actor Jamie Dornan as a crazed serial killer, the massive global hit that is Game of Thrones and, due curtain-up in Enniskillen in a just few weeks time, the G8-est show on earth.
This is not a nice way to treat expectant mums
You're what?! You're pregnant! How lovely. Congratulations. Now if you would just care to blow into this wee tester so we can check to see how many fags you've had in the last 24 hours ...
One is not amused at Helen's royal rip
It must have been quite a moment when a drumming party happily banging away outside the Gielgud theatre in the West End were suddenly accosted by Her Majesty in full tiara and pearls demanding that they shut up.
Let's wipe smiles off the faces of the clowns at Stormont circus
If only we had a Ukip here ... . Not the actual Farage party per se. But, oh for any oul collection of clowns (as Ken Clarke might say) who could offer us a viable protest vote option against the three-ring circus that is Stormont.
It's a wonder they didn't claim drugs evidence was planted
The PSNI have released a picture of a cannabis factory in Ahoghill where cultivation to the tune of around £500,000 was halted by a police raid last week.
How plastic bags don't measure up when it comes to value for money
I'm just getting out of my car in the underground park in a local shopping centre when I notice another woman bowling towards me at considerable speed.
Our textile industry died ... now they're dying in Bangladesh
The first job I ever had was a summer job in a linen factory near where I grew up. The work wasn't particularly onerous, the other workers were lovely; in fact the only downside I remember was the smell.
Gwyneth's outfit is too cheeky
In the drive to keep the attention of the paps, Gwyneth Paltrow isn't all that different from any other celebrity really.
Soccer clubs will only play ball if we bite into profits
According to Liverpool Football Club, striker Luis Suarez, who this week attempted to bite a chunk out of opponent Branislav Ivanovic (the name is itself a mouthful) is to be "offered anger management classes."
Why Billy should not forget his Northern Ireland fans
You start to tell a joke – and halfway through you realise you've forgotten the punchline.
Roma shows that God and Mammon mix
The message from the local top 20 in the annual Sunday Times Rich List would appear to be that if you want to make a mint you should think of getting into pharmaceuticals, food, property – or God.
Theresa, threats won't force us to live in harmony
Does Theresa Villiers really have a handle on this place, do you think?
Maggie would enjoy the irony
The wife of the Speaker is among those not attending today's funeral of Margaret Thatcher, the UK's first female prime minister and the UK's first prime minister to lead her party to three consecutive election victories.
Belieb it or not, Justin has a point
Not for the first time pop star Justin Bieber has provoked the outrage of Twitter, this time over a guestbook message left following his visit to the Anne Frank Museum in Amsterdam.
Blooming Kim doesn't deserve all this vitriol
An initially disturbing headline in a national newspaper: "Kate Middleton v Kim – The Bump Off."
Mairead, look at your dad and see the love of a decent parent
Your children. As a mother or father you like to think you'd go through the very fires of hell for them. The obvious exception to this parental rule being Mr and Mrs Philpott.
We've Agreement on one thing: our own A-Z of piffle
Fifteen years on from the Agreement, and the politicians of Northern Ireland are still talking ... still talking in that odd mix of cliché, euphemism and flannel that has come to epitomise political dialogue here.
It’s barking mad to indulge this trend for devil dogs
How did the thug dog ever become so popular? The ‘pit bull-type’ is now the canine of choice for many households. Including, unbelievably, families with young children who maintain their wee Gnasher would never, ever harm a fly.
It’s easy to mock Kim, but we have got our own little hate-filled Hitlers
Maybe we should invite Kim Jong Un to Fermanagh for the G8. If only to take his mind off his current preoccupation — masterminding global annihilation.