Belfast Telegraph

Thursday 30 July 2015

We're confused ... and that's official! 

It will come as no surprise to anyone who does the grocery shop to learn that new research has raised hygiene concerns over our old friend the Bag For Life. Apparently in bacterial terms this should have a very short life. Especially if you put raw meat therein. Attempting to wash the thing only makes matters worse. So. On one hand we're told to avoid single use bags, on the other, that reuseable bags are dodgy. Meanwhile one agency urges us to eat all food before its use-by date while the say-no-to-waste lobby argues open it, smell it, take a chance. Clashing official advice. It's all very confusing.

Van charity idea is just the ticket 

Any Van fan who would give their eye teeth for a ticket to the concert to celebrate his Freedom of the city award (no such thing as a free Freedom?) must be sickened to hear that councillors have been given four tickets apiece. The greed! Surely the council would have been able to accommodate a bigger audience if they'd asked him to turn on the Christmas lights and give us all a couple of tunes when he was at it. But the best solution, given the current outcry over ticketing, is the suggestion from the man in the street on the TV news. Let councillors have their tickets but ask them to give £100 each to charity as a goodwill gesture. Van (above) could decide on the charity. Fair, no?

Maddy suspect photo puzzle 

If you hadn't been told otherwise you would have assumed the double e-fit produced by British detectives investigating the disappearance of Madeleine McCann (above) were two entirely different men. They don't even look like they could be related. But we're assured they're one and the same suspect. One man. Two descriptions. Confusing. Yet we have to hope that somehow this composite picture will turn up a definitive answer to what happened that night to that little girl.

Sex in a box ... C4 having laugh 

We all know that sex sells but is Channel 4 really on to a ratings winner with its new 'live sex on TV' show aimed rather pompously at "reclaiming sexual truth from the lies of pornography"? It's called Sex Box and the problem is likely to be that old three letter word ending in x.... Yup. Box. People have sex in a big box (promotional pictures suggest something along the lines of a garden shed but with no windows). Then they talk about it. It sounds almost laughably awful. Too much thinking outside the Box?