You couldn't blame Gwyneth Paltrow if she wasn't just ragin' about Angelina Jolie's right leg. Until the leg put in an appearance (it now has a Twitter account) Gwynnie was the most eye-catching sight on the Oscars red carpet.
Dressed by Tom Ford in the oyster coloured epitome of elegance, Gwyneth's gown was simple and stunning. It even had a cape. Nobody else had a cape. In the Oscars' battle of the gowns these things matter. The cape should have been a game clincher.
But Angelina won by a leg.
The pair (not the legs: Angelina and Gwyneth) at least took the spotlight off some of the more dubious examples of Hollywood taste on display. What is it with these women? All that money. Stunning looks. Stylists and top designers at their disposal and they still show up looking like a Royal wedding pretzel.
We've all seen girls in top to toe Primark who could give a lot of them a run for their money. Are there no mirrors in Hollywood?
Much of the madness comes down to desperation to stand out from the crowd. Looking good isn't enough. You have to get noticed which means the less-is-more thing is out the window.
On the red carpet more is more. Even Meryl Streep, who has nothing to prove, showed up swathed in gold like a walking Oscar statue. Glenn Close had a fishtail of Big Fat Gypsy proportions. Penelope Cruz looked fabulous in a 50s full-skirted way. But Gwyneth surely outshone them all. Sadly, though, top billing doesn't always go to flawless performance.
The Oscars' red carpet result 2012? Leg 1, cape 0.