Blooming Kim doesn't deserve all this vitriol
An initially disturbing headline in a national newspaper: "Kate Middleton v Kim – The Bump Off."
Surely not? The Duchess of Cambridge pitted against the North Korean leader?
As it turns out this was a different sort of "bump off" It's the tabloid term for assessing how the duchess's pregnancy compares, in this case, with that of Kim Kardashian.
Kate is a slim girl and thus far her bump is minuscule.
But for the fact that she has a habit of clutching her abdomen you'd hardly even notice she is with child.
Kim on the other hand has committed that cardinal sin in celebdom of growing visibly bigger in pregnancy. She's put on weight in the normal, entirely healthy way and now, God help her, she's taken to wearing loose fitting maternity wear which occasionally wafts in the wind and makes her look even more rounded.
For these crimes she's being ripped to shreds by online trolls who appear to think that there's something wrong with a pregnant girl putting on a few pounds.
Leaping to Kim's defence, however, is supermodel Helena Christensen who describes some of the cruel postings as "disgusting".
"To attack an expecting mother is sacrilegious and just plain wrong," she says. "Bullying and attacking a pregnant woman because of her growing shape is lower than low."
And she is so, so right.
What is particularly sickening is that many of the trolls are female. What is wrong with these women?
It's not just the celebrity mothers they attack. It's every expectant mother out there worried about putting on a wee bit of weight and being compared against some unattainable measure of perfection.
If anything needs bumped off, it's the bump offs.