Charlene's grim wedding day
Published 07/07/2011 | 08:00
The new Princess Charlene of Monaco is said to have tried to flee the principality no less than three times in the run-up to her wedding to Prince Albert.
And three times, if you are to believe reports, (which the happy couple have strenuously denied) she was headed off at the pass by royal officials and 'persuaded to return.
Stories of her apparent pre-wedding jitters are dotted with the words 'allegedly' and 'reportedly' so it's hard to fathom just how much truth there is in any of this.
Photos from the big day show Albert, looking like Iain Duncan Smith in a naval suit, staring stonily at his bride as she blubs her eyes out.
Of course the girl could just have been overcome with joy. Not distress that her betrothed has to face at least one more paternity case (he's had two previously - both were his.)
And you have to wonder would she really have gone through with the wedding if her heart truly was not in it.
Before her wedding, Diana, Princess of Wales was reported to have had a bit of a wobble too. But she steadied herself after her sister pointed out: "You can't pull out now. Your face is on the tea towels."
Surely the tea towel lobby in Monaco isn't that powerful these days?
Also you have to worry about poor old Albert's wounded feelings. Being forced to deny, on the day of your nuptials, that your beautiful princess had to be rounded up and returned to your side has to be from the Grimm book of fairytale weddings.