Let's give these celeb crazes the bum's rush
I think we all know where Cheryl Cole's herbaceous bum is headed ... Coming soon to a nightclub near you. Or, God spare us, the High Street.
The celebrity obsession/desperation to be noticed now reaches to all extremes. And extremities.
Madonna, Rihanna and Kate Perry have all been photographed recently with gold dental braces (or grillz) making them look like the shark-toothed sisters of that big bloke with the metallic mouthful in the Bond movie.
And Lady Gaga who once promoted fillet steak as daywear has since progressed from the meat counter, via nudity on to face-painting in her determination to keep her bake in the news.
All this filters down eventually to street level. Fans ape the stars because they think they'll look equally good in body art and dental bling.
Before you know it, bum tatts and tinny teeth will be as commonplace as navel piercings and onesies.
The problem is that, flattering to the original as this imitation may be, it is not always pulled off with quite the same élan.
Some bums just do not look quite so peachy as Cheryl's. And some gobs could do without additional grilling that makes even Madonna look like she's been chewing on unwrapped Ferrero Rocher.
Will that stop people though?
I think we all know the answer.
People see themselves as how they want to be, not how they really are. And before you know it we're all looking at the world through rose-tinted buttocks.