Lindy McDowell: The beauty of Gemma
Never in the field of beauty pageants has so much coverage been devoted by so many political corrs to the reigning Miss Great Britain.
Gemma Garrett, who comes from Belfast, appears to have forgotten the script where beauty queening involves wanting to work with small children, to travel and to wish for world peace.
Instead, she's been taking on Gordon Brown and David Cameron. First in the Crewe and Nantwich by-election. And now in the by-election sparked by the sudden resignation of David Davis.
Not so much eye-candy then. More eye-candidate.
Does she have policies?
Challenged in an earlier election as to whether she could give Gord a steer on economic problems Gemma frankly admitted: "No."
However, she did say she might be able to offer him some advice on beauty products ...
Silly, flippant stuff, of course. But in Brown's Britain with its petrol queues, rising prices, bulging bins, loony laws, property market stagnation and overall air of grim, the girl at least provides a little light-hearted fun.
And it does say something about how very far it has fallen in the polls these days that even in the electoral sense New Labour's not looking good compared to the Beauties for Britain party.
Not to mention Gemma — a candidate whose campaign involves the ballot box in one hand and a cellulite strategy in the other.