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Lindy McDowell: Wayne Rooney and James Caan have such poor sense

By Lindy McDowell

If we are to continue to canvas Westminster for a bigger cut of funding we need to consider — are Peter Robinson and Martin McGuinness really the best we can get in terms of negotiators?

Where’s Wayne Rooney when you need him?

Holed up poolside in Dubai, as it turns out. Sipping pink champagne (it always sounds posier than the clear stuff) with the lovely (and forgiving) Coleen as they ponder what to do with his remarkable pay hike, reportedly around £100,000 a week.

Wayne’s annual total now comes in at well over £10m. To put in perspective what he earns in one day, he now doesn’t get out of bed (his own or a prostitute’s) for less than what would be regarded nationally as an above average annual wage.

Wayne is, of course, far from being the only high earner out there who occasionally confuses price and value.

Dragon’s Den judge James Caan has come under fire for what surely has been the week’s crassest attempted purchase.

He tried to buy a baby in a Pakistani refugee camp. Mr Caan, who is said to be worth somewhere in the region of £100m, offered around £750 for the little girl. He said he wanted to buy her for his brother. (Couldn’t he just have got him an iPad of something?)

Later, he apologised, explaining that he had allowed his emotions to get the better of him. Although not to the extent, obviously, that he felt it necessary to offer a fortune for the child. (I know offering to buy her at all was the really bad thing — but the price he suggested says something in itself.)

It’s not just football then that continues to be a game of two halves. (In this case — the haves and the have-nots.)

But back to Mr Rooney, and he especially should remember that the people who pay his wages are ultimately the working men and women who support the club he’s treated so churlishly. Whether they still think he’s worth it may matter more than Wayne appears to realise.

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