Simon Cowell baby news shows why we've great expectations of celebrities these days
Published 08/08/2013 | 07:59
The Royals have acquired one, the Kardashians, a couple. The Beckhams have a stylish one. The Elton Johns have two.
A yacht, a Ferrari, that mansion in the South of France are all just so last trimester. Right now anybody who is anybody is having a baby.
So needless to say Simon Cowell is getting one, too. In fairness, he may not have planned it this way himself.
But as we all know, these things happen ...
I just worry what a man who calls his best-known company Syco might choose to call the wee mite.
Wacky names are all part and parcel of the new way of maternity. And indeed paternity.
In other developments, Nick Clegg has unveiled plans to force all new fathers to take a whole month of paternity leave – a suggestion that will surely chill the hearts not just of the workaholic Simon Cowells of this world but of the hard-pressed owners of small business firms already struggling to cope with the demands of maternity leave.
Other new-parenting trends in recent years include the introduction, on this side of the pond, of the American-style baby shower.
Maybe it's just me, but isn't there something a little bit too over-organised about that one?
The ultimate in expectant over-organisation, though, has to be the mother in the news this week who'd kitted out an entire nursery in pink, including over three grand's worth of fuschia baby wear.
Assured by the ante-natal scan analysis that she was having a girl, she'd had one nursery wall stencilled with the name she'd given her unborn – Lily-Mae.
But when little Lily-Mae finally arrived it was revealed she was a he. In fairness, though, the new mother took this turnaround in her stride.
Most of the clothes were taken back (to Asda) for a refund.
However, she admits she's been left with a serious amount of pink products.
Maybe she could do a deal with Mr Cowell?
If he has to pay out anything like the child maintenance sums quoted in some lurid reports, he may be glad of discount baby gear. Of any hue.