Belfast Telegraph

Snow joke, it's time to grit our teeth

By Lindy McDowell

By the time you read this we may be carpeted in 16in of pure, driven Siberian. The weathermen are predicting a White Christmas and, judging by reports, we could take the brunt of it here. (Don't blame me if we get a heat wave - I'm only going by 'reports'.)

Sadly, Dreaming of a White Christmas is no longer considered politically correct these days. Currently we're encouraged to loathe the stuff. Snow is our enemy. We can't cope with it. Actually it's worse than that. We can't cope with weather. Full stop.

That's because our once-temperate climate has turned on us and now veers to and from extremes like the UUP trying to find another electoral partner to link up with.

Our climate used to be the Alliance Party of weather systems. Fairly moderate on the whole. Sandal-wearing virtually all year round.

Now it's gone dissident, waging war against us from all quarters.

We can't cope with extremes of sun and wind and rain and frost. Other countries might sneer that what we get in weather isn't actually extreme in their experience.

The thing is - it is for us. Our drains used to be able to adequately sup the average downpour. Now, like a novice drinker at the office party, they're entirely out of their depth. We've had tornados in recent years. Sunshine that was never designed for northern skin. And now snow and ice that concretes skid-plates over roads, slows all transportation to a crawl and totally repels stilettos.

Of course we should be able to sort it. But the authorities won't take responsibility for gritting because they're scared of being sued. And we can't self-grit because, again, someone might sue us.

Capitalising on all this? The legal profession who just love a compensation case.

Every cloud and all that ...

Popular

From Belfast Telegraph