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Mark Steel: Donald Trump's problem? He doesn't go far enough

Biggest impact he has had is making other Republican candidates appear normal

Published 11/12/2015

Donald Trump has caused controversy throughout his campaign to be the Republican presidential candidate (AP)
Donald Trump has caused controversy throughout his campaign to be the Republican presidential candidate (AP)
Donald Trump called for a block on Muslims entering the US
US presidential hopeful Donald Trump
Backlash: Donald Trump
Donald Trump said his proposal comes in response to the level of hatred among "large segments of the Muslim population" toward Americans (AP)
Donald Trump's support for a Muslim database in the US drew sharp criticism (AP)

The problem with Donald Trump’s plan to stop all Muslims from entering America, at least “until we can figure what is going on”, is that it doesn’t go far enough.

To make the country truly safe he should insist that - as so many non-Muslims go berserk with guns in schools and shopping malls - no non-Muslims can be allowed into the country until we can figure out what is going on.

Some non-Muslims may complain it’s unfair to blame all of them for a minority of crazed murderers, but we can’t afford to take chances. How many more massacres in cinemas and bowling alleys must there be before someone takes responsibility and bans them all?

One supporter of Trump said yesterday: “We can’t look at a Muslim and tell whether they’re a terrorist or friendly.” This is true, and shows the Muslim terrorist is especially dangerous. Say what you will about the IRA, at least they wore top hats with flashing lights that spelled the word ‘terrorist’, and noses shaped like a surface to air missile; you just knew from looking at them.

But the non-Muslims who go doolally and fire into supermarkets also disguise themselves. One minute they’re calmly drawing pictures of Satan in the college canteen, or buying a Kalashnikov on a two-for-one offer at the fishmongers with some haddock. Then, out of nowhere, they’re firing at everyone in Aldi.

So I’m sure the moderate non-Muslims will understand if, for their own safety, they’ll have to be tagged and report every day to a psychiatrist for an assessment and, if they pass, then go to the Post Office to get a stamp that allows them to stay out until half past six.

Donald Trump strengthened his argument about the danger of Muslims when he said there have been no Muslim American sports stars. If you were picky, you could suggest Muhammad Ali - a prominent member of the Nation of Islam. But they weren’t very Muslim; they only saw Islam as a side issue. And anyway, he wasn’t all that sporty.

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Muhammad Ali responds to Donald Trump's Muslim ban proposal  

Trump informed the American public that, “Parts of London are so radicalised the police won’t go there as they’re afraid of their lives.” He wasn’t specific about which area of London, but he’ll probably explain he means inside the tiger’s cage at London Zoo - insisting the tiger converted to Islam this summer, and has already made a video roaring ‘death to the infidel iguanas’ in the Reptile House.

"The American dream is dead. But if I get elected president I will bring it back bigger and better and stronger than ever before and we will make America great again."
"Love him or hate him, Trump is a man who is certain about what he wants and sets out to get it, no holds barred. Women find his power almost as as much of a turn-on as his money."
On Barack Obama: "Obama is going to be out playing golf. He might be at one of my courses. I would invite him, I have the best courses in the world. I have one right next to the White House."
"You have to think anyway, so why not think big."
"Everything in life is luck."
"What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to each new twist of fate."
"If you're interested in balancing work and pleasure, stop trying to balance them. Instead make your work more pleasurable."
"I just sold an apartment to China for $15million to somebody from China. Am I supposed to dislike them? I love China. You know where their United States headquarters is located? In Trump Tower."
"When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending their best. They're sending people that have lots of problems. They're bringing drugs. They are bringing crime. They're rapists."
I will build a great wall - and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me and I'll build them very expensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words."
"Free trade is terrible. Free trade can be wonderful if you have smart people. But we have stupid people."
"Some of the candidates, they went in and didn't know the air conditioner didn't work and sweated like dogs and they didn't know the room was too big because they didn't have anybody there. How are they going to beat ISIS?"
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump mocks reporter Serge Kovaleski's disability. While waving his arms around he said: "Now the poor guy [Kovaleski] — you ought to see the guy: ‘Uhh I don’t know what I said. I don’t remember.’ He’s going, ‘I don’t remember. Maybe that’s what I said."
Mr Trump told ABC's Good Morning America that banning Muslims was warranted because the US is essentially at war with Muslim extremists who have launched attacks including last week's shooting in San Bernardino, California, that killed 14. "We are now at war," he said, adding: "We have a president who doesn't want to say that." "Until we are able to determine and understand this problem and the dangerous threat it poses, our country cannot be the victims of horrendous attacks by people that believe only in jihad, and have no sense of reason or respect for human life."
Republican presidential candidate, businessman Donald Trump assures America he has no size issues during Republican presidential primary debate at Fox Theatre, Thursday, March 3, 2016, in Detroit. (AP Photo/Carlos Osorio)
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump (AP)
An protester against Donald Trump holds a burning T-shirt outside the Republican's rally in Albuquerque (AP)
After the Orlando nightclub mass shooting - the worst in American history - Donald Trump tweeted: "Appreciate the congrats for being right on radical Islamic terrorism, I don't want congrats, I want toughness & vigilance. We must be smart! "

That would be less imaginative than his claim that, in New Jersey, “crowds of Muslims cheered as the Twin Towers came down.” Some people objected to this account, on the grounds that not a single person anywhere has any record or recollection of any such event.

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But Trump will argue: “Someone has to finally be prepared to stand up to political correctness by making shit up. Too many politicians are afraid to invent stories, because they worry some liberal professor will complain there’s no evidence that Muslims bombed Pearl Harbour, or that the dodo died out when hungry Muslims ate them all at the end of Ramadan.”

Every time he makes one of these comments, his popularity in the Republican Party goes up. So if it dips again he’ll say, “The border with Mexico should be made into a trifle, then smeared over an asteroid and sent into orbit round Neptune. Let’s see the lazy dogs get across that.”

The biggest impact he’s having is to make other politicians who should seem frightening appear normal and reassuring. Republican candidate Ted Cruz looks like the calm one, yet he’s demanded we ban refugees from any country in which Isis has a presence. This makes sense, because it keeps out dodgy immigrants who claim to be running away from Isis just because they come from an area controlled by Isis. He will, however, allow entry to anyone running from Isis when they’ve come from Iceland or Wales.

Governors in 31 states have supported a ban on all refugees from Syria. Because if someone’s squashed their family onto a pedalo and paddled to Cyprus to get away from Isis, that’s a sure sign they support Isis. 

Trump has even made Boris Johnson seem reasonable. The Mayor of London was rude about him, and Trump replied this was outrageous because “I have done so much for Scotland, including building Trump International Golf Links in Aberdeen.” You can understand his anger: once you’ve built a golf course somewhere, you’re entitled to say or do whatever you like without expecting anyone to disagree. In fact, maybe he’s discovered the way to solve the problems that disturb him so much. All he has to do is build golf courses across the Middle East, and he can rule the place himself.

To start with he can create the world’s most intriguing crazy golf across Gaza, with the ball bouncing off the rubble and bombed hospitals in all directions creating hilarity for all the family.

Then he can landscape 18 holes in the middle of the Isis caliphate, making sure there are signs up saying: "If you blow yourself up to reach eternal paradise, please replace any displaced divots". No one will have any grounds for objecting to anything he proposes, makes up or pretends happened when it clearly didn’t. Because you can’t do that to someone whose paid for a golf course.

Is it any wonder so many people see Islam as backward and medieval, when you compare it to a rational thoughtful society in which millions of people want to be led by Donald Trump?

Independent

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