Cock-ups, not conspiracies, are bane of the Press
Many years ago, a young trainee journalist was sent to the house of a well-known vicar in his patch, who had been the subject of a substantial burglary.
Many years ago, a young trainee journalist was sent to the house of a well-known vicar in his patch, who had been the subject of a substantial burglary.
Why am I in a field with 20 pensioners, all of us going brr, brr, brr, brr brrrrrrrrrr in unison? What a vision is this cagouled collective of hip replacements and walking sticks moving in unison through the church meadow making bizarre sounds.
If you want the tickets, you'll have to be quick, I was told; others are waiting if you don't snap them up. And so it came to pass that I have bought the most expensive tickets I have ever paid for to watch a football match.
I only watch one programme on TV these days, apart that is from the footie. I'm hooked on University Challenge. Have been for years.
Look at the date. It's April 17. Where did the year go already? What happened to, let's say, February 25? What was I doing. I can't remember. I've just looked it up on the calendar to find it was a Monday. A bit grim then, probably.
I was 16 when Margaret Thatcher came to power. We didn't know what had hit us.
Chin, chin Uncle Monty. You were the best. Your words, phrases and philosophies will live on, repeated by future generations of film fans stumbling across one of the finest British movies ever made.
Look, I'm not trying to boast, but I did go to Washington last week for work and wound up at the White House while the world's most powerful man made a speech two feet away from me.
It is one of the most electrifying scenes in cinematic history.
So, should you go to see an artist perform just because he's dying? I'm in Portsmouth at the weekend and a mate has a spare ticket to see the legendary rhythm and blues man Wilko Johnson play on his farewell tour.
Ever seen a grown man cry live in 3D? If you had been at the Tate Modern's Turbine Hall in London last Wednesday night you would have done.
At a breakfast business meeting a social media snake-oil salesman selling golden visions of the future tells his audience how they can unlock untold riches by joining the digital revolution.
I never imagined it would come to this. Not back in the era of late nights, post-punk trousers, gelled quiffs and fight-the-world attitudes. That I'd be sitting in my back garden, taking part in the RSPB's Bird Watch survey weekend, I mean.
Who's going to play Lance in the inevitable film? I was pondering this the other day while grinding my way to work through the 17 sets of traffic lights (regular readers will know of my feeling on this) that blight the two-mile city-centre journey from my home to the office.
It's January, so thoughts turn to avoiding all the dieting advice that clutters up newspapers. I've taken a bit more interest this year for, though I normally make no resolutions, a work colleague has put the fear of God into me over my salt intake.
I've given myself plenty of time to achieve the task, even taken a day's holiday. I've set my alarm early so that I can prepare.
Who could do something like that? What twisted mind? Some evil genius who knew the effect such a thing would have on that day of all days.
Depending on when you are reading this, I am either heading for disgrace, or I am currently in that state. Today is/was the Boxing Day footie match which I find myself spending a worrying amount of the rest of the year looking forward to as I get older.
Imagine a defendant in a criminal trial, let's say fraud, found guilty on the flimsiest of evidence. What's worse, during the trial the defendant finds himself squeezed into the dock with others similarly accused and given half-a-day out of a three-month sitting to argue his case.
I often think back to Paul Reinhards. That big, imposing man who lived in that equally big and imposing house in grey Gravesend and whose terrible secret, hidden for 40 years, I stumbled across all those years ago.
North Korea fired a projectile into waters off its eastern coast, a day after launching three short-range missiles in the same area, officials said.
Campaigners have demanded the reopening of a memorial park to Irish patriots which was closed just a year after tens of thousands of euro in public money was poured into upgrading it.
Wayne Rooney will miss Manchester United's final game of the season as wife Coleen is due to give birth to the couple's second child.
Former Manchester City manager Kevin Keegan has said he was surprised by the timing of Roberto Mancini's sacking.
Graeme McDowell produced a flawless display of golf to book his place in the final of the Volvo World Match Play Championship for the second year running.
Australia coach Robbie Deans has left the door open for the likes of Quade Cooper to make the final squad to face the British and Irish Lions after the in-form Reds playmaker failed to make the 25-man group.
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have reportedly ended their romance yet again, after three years together.
Rihanna is reportedly fuming about her on/off boyfriend Chris Brown's recent split comments, especially because she took a "massive risk" by getting back with him.
Sir Elton John's toddler son got so excited when he saw firemen recently the singer asked them to give the tot a ride in their truck.