Belfast Telegraph

Wednesday 22 October 2014

A good look? Don't bet on it, Shane

Elizabeth Hurley and Shane Warne
Elizabeth Hurley and Shane Warne

Never been much of a gambler. Too wimpy to take a big risk. Just doesn't appeal. Putting it all on red 48 ... makes a good scene in a film but in real life? Nah.

Maybe this is because since childhood, I've never been "lucky". One of my brothers was always "lucky".

He's the one who'd be walking out of the amusements, on holiday, and casually try a one arm bandit, not having put any money in, and lo and behold, it would work anyway and silver 10p pieces would clatter out into the metal scoop. Jammy dodger.

But even if I were tempted to flutter, the incessant ads encouraging me to play bingo or casino online would be enough to put me off.

It's either a creepy fake magazine ad featuring cartoon females with bingo balls for heads, or the even creepier sight of an unnaturally smooth-faced Shane Warne, leering at me from the computer screen, enticing me to blow it all with him.

No thanks.

I guess he's won the lottery in love with Liz Hurley.

They certainly seem to smile a lot in photos, but that might just be a surgical after effect. Either way, if that's what winning does to yer face, I'll stick with not playing this time. Plastic chips ok. Plastic features ... not such a turn-on.

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