Belfast Telegraph

Thursday 17 April 2014

Auntie, all your silly nannying just leaves me cold

Winter started officially last Thursday, according to meterologists.

Cue media reports reminding us how awful conditions were last December and then, helpfully, giving us advice on how to fare better this year, should the mercury plummet again.

I’m glad I caught a report on the local BBC news about this because, otherwise, I might have been foolish enough to think I could tough out another freeze without making any preparations. But now, thanks to Auntie Beeb, I know that, if the weather gets cold, I need to “wrap up warm”, take plenty of warm drinks, keep at least one room heated in my house and take extra precautions on the roads.

Phew! There I was, about to let my oil run out, switch off the hot water, open the windows, get out the T-shirts and shorts and discard my socks and shoes for a nice pair of open-toed sandals. Thanks Auntie, you’re brrrrrrrr-illiant!

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