Belfast Telegraph

Tuesday 21 October 2014

Facebook is reading my mind

Hugh Jackman

What's going on? I turn on my Facebook page and down the side of the screen are ads for weight loss.

Lose two pounds of belly fat in a day.

How four Moms lost three stone in five days. Drop two dress sizes in six seconds!

How do they know to target me like this? I don't need to lose weight except on my belly and all the ads are about belly fat.

One day my friend suggested I have my thyroid checked because I've put on weight even though I'm exercising and not drinking. Next day, an ad about checking your thyroid appears on my Facebook page.

One day I'm talking to a friend about solar panels, that afternoon an ad for solar panels appears on my page.

Have they got a camera on my laptop that shows my gut nudging the edge of the computer?

Do I have to hold my stomach in even when I'm on my own now?

Worse, are they reading my mind? Do I have to hold my thoughts in even when I'm on my own now?

Oh dear. I'm scared to open the page now in case there's an ad for spending a night with Hugh Jackman and a bottle of baby oil... eh... for example...

COMMENT RULES: Comments that are judged to be defamatory, abusive or in bad taste are not acceptable and contributors who consistently fall below certain criteria will be permanently blacklisted. The moderator will not enter into debate with individual contributors and the moderator’s decision is final. It is Belfast Telegraph policy to close comments on court cases, tribunals and active legal investigations. We may also close comments on articles which are being targeted for abuse. Problems with commenting? customercare@belfasttelegraph.co.uk

Latest News

Latest Sport

Latest Showbiz