Belfast Telegraph

Finding my sweetness and light

By Nuala McKeever

Two big discoveries this week. The first concerns those clever people at the Cern Hadron Collider (no, that’s not a fairground attraction, it’s a piece of kit that moves subatomic particles through a long chute very, very quickly).

They’ve carried out an experiment which seems to show particles moving faster than the speed of light.

“Is this possible?” I hear you cry. |Well yes, according to that scientist we’re all supposed to love because he's, wait for it, clever and not hideously ugly or ancient — Brian Cox.

Dr Sexy-Physicist says if the results are verified it could require a complete rewriting of our understanding of the laws of the universe! Wow!

Now, the OTHER discovery, which you haven’t heard about, was made by me, the other night, in my front room. Watching The Great British Bake Off with the sound down, ’cos I was on the phone, I discovered that it’s not a TV programme at all, it’s radio, with pictures stuck on. Without the sound, it was just the same shots over and over of sweet things going in and out of ovens.

I tested my theory on lots of other programmes and whaddayaknow, there’s loads of them — radio masquerading as TV!

I’m considering asking the BBC for a partial refund of my licence fee.

Belfast Telegraph

Popular

From Belfast Telegraph