Belfast Telegraph

Wednesday 16 April 2014

Give naff summer fashions short shrift

I’m not a fashionista. I admit that. My favourite clothing label is probably “Elasticated Waist for Extra Comfort and Fit”.

But even I can spot a fashion that really does nothing for anybody.

This week’s top of the Miss Parade (as opposed to the Hit Parade) has to be cropped cargo pants on men. Thanks to the hot weather, we’re all now forced to look at all manner of unsightly get-ups when we’re out and about. The too tight T-shirts exposing belly rolls; sunburn marks exposed by different shaped tops; big thighs in shorts; too-short running shorts on the older gentleman, exposing chicken legs and the chance of an inadvertent exposure.

These are all the risks we run when we venture out in the sun in NI.

But the recent fashion for trousers on men that are neither shorts nor longs is just too much.

The sad thing is that men think they’re cool. They’re not. They’re naff. Even on Brad Pitt they’d be naff. Maybe fitted cropped trousers might be acceptable, but not wide, loose cargo pants or joggers. They need to be either above the knee or right to the ankle. This is one time when the middle route is just not the way to go.

Honestly, you’ll thank me in the end.

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