Belfast Telegraph

Good to see we’re handling the recession so well

By Nuala McKeever

All I remember from O-level economics is that “in times of recession, sales of small luxury items go up”.

So not surprising that profits at Guinness and Paddy Power rose substantially last quarter. Hmm drinking and gambling — good to see we're handling the recession maturely.

At the same time, those miners trapped underground in Chile can only dream about such luxuries.

Since August 5 they've all lost loads of weight and grown long beards. The atmosphere must be pretty thick down there by now, but they seem in great spirits. Last time I saw them, they were singing the Chile national anthem to keep their peckers up. Can you imagine trapped miners here singing A Soldier's Song or God Save The Queen to cheer themselves up!

If we see Brad Pitt starting to grow facial hair again we'll know the miners have been given those three most essential disaster supplies — food, medicine and an exclusive movie deal from Hollywood.

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